Here’s something I’d say to just about every single man I’ve coached in my 20 years of coaching.
With every single one of them, I have this conversation, and I’ve had it so many times I’m almost blue in the face.
Do you watch porn?
How often do you masturbate?
And you’re going to go on porn detox.
I have to tell you something. I am one of those rare men that never really watches porn. I’ve always had this incredibly active and excellent imagination. It’s not hard for me to imagine things to do. It’s not hard for me to see a woman and literally see all the things I want to do based on that energy she presents to me.
I watched porn for the very first time when I was 15 years old. Me and my friend Peter sat there in my parent’s bedroom, I found the hidden tape, I put it into the VCR and I watched about five minutes of it.
Now, at 15 I was a virgin. At 15, I’d barely touched breasts, barely kissed. But after about 10 minutes of watching porn, I realized that my mind was far more creative than anything anybody can ever put on screen. So, I never watched it.
I don’t go to strip clubs. Every time I’ve been in a strip club, I literally wanted to just go in, engage in conversation with the women and talk to them. I don’t want anybody grinding on my lap with stripper perfume.
I don’t want anybody dancing next to me, showing me their breasts. It does nothing for me. I always tell strippers, “If you’re going to sit on my lap, we’re going to talk, and if we’re going to talk we’re going to get deep. And if we’re going to get deep, then maybe we’re going to fuck.” And that’s literally what I used to say.
And I would watch them circulate through the place and they’d always come back and talk to me and eventually they’d sit on my lap and eventually they’d tell me they like me.
When it comes down to porn, men are addicts. First off, I never find it sexy watching another guy pound a woman.
Secondly, it’s all fake, so why do I want to watch something that’s fake when, in my mind, I can create an incredible romance, an incredible amount of sexual tension and behavior?
I think porn has ruined the modern man. I really do. I think men masturbate too much and I think they watch porn too much. And I think men are basically ruined by porn at this point . Porn is written by creepy guys losing their minds. I’ve met these guys. I live in Los Angeles, and they all live in The Valley.
And you know what else? Porn is written from a man’s point of view. So the fact of the matter is, when you are having sex and you cum within three minutes and the woman’s screaming her head off and then you pull out and cum all over her, that is not a woman’s fantasy. Her fantasy about her being seduced by her mind, so her whole body and mind align. It’s supposed to feel like there’s some romance. There’s no romance in porn at all. It’s just humping and that’s all it is.
So that’s why I tell men all the time, stop watching porn and start paying attention to life. The more porn you watch, the harder it’s going to be for you as a man.
So why do men watch porn? They watch it because it’s easier for them to watch porn than to go out and meet actually women. It’s a challenge for so many men to meet women – they’re shy. They suffer from approach anxiety. So the thing is, a woman doesn’t understand that men are addicts of porn because they’re too afraid to go meet women.
Porn is a waste of time. So, if you’re a man, stop watching it right now. And start seeing your sexual energy going elsewhere.
