Long-term relationships, like marriages, are long and winding paths. Sometimes you’ll go through long parts of the path that are romantic and sweet and then you’ll hit a turn where daily logistics overshadow sex and emotional intimacy. That being said, I know those less romantic stretches can feel lonely, especially when you’re not hearing “I love you” a lot. If you and your husband are walking down a part of the path that feels a little loveless and you’re wondering why he’s not saying “I love you” anymore, here are three reasons, and solutions, that should help you out.
Because he doesn’t know you want it
Men are men. By that I mean, they’re not perceptive like we are. If you don’t tell a man exactly how you’re feeling and why, he likely doesn’t know how you’re feeling. A lot of times when women are bummed their men aren’t doing something they want, all they have to do to solve the situation is ask for what they want. While asking someone to say “I love you” feels kind of sad, it’s what you need to do to make the situation better. He’s not a mind reader. Tell him what you want and you’ll probably get it.
Because you need to date again
All long-term relationships can get a little stale. With kids and financial discussions and errands taking the forefront of your daily life, it’s easy to lose sight of why you two got married in the first place. It’s because you guys are in love! Have a conversation where you discuss dating again and figure out how to do it in a way that’s reasonable for your situation. Maybe it’s a fancy night out every week. But, if that’s not possible, it could be a two hour date night at home. Put the kids to bed half an hour early, put on a nice dress, crack open a bottle of wine and pretend you’re at a wine bar for a couple hours. Remind him of how in love you two are and it might trigger an “I love you” or two.
Because you need a little booster shot
Relationships are like anything else. Sometimes they need professional help to run smoothly. Even the finest cars have to go to the mechanic every once in a while. Don’t hesitate to take your relationship to therapy if it needs a little maintenance. A few sessions with a trained professional can do wonders to amp up the feelings of love and connection between the two of you. So many of my favorite couples attribute their happiness to a few sessions with a therapist. It could really work for you guys.
Even though I’m not your husband, I’ll say it. I love you! You deserve to hear it from him, though. Hopefully these tips will get him saying those three little words frequently enough for your liking.
