If you’re a single woman who doesn’t want kids, you’re probably wondering when to bring that up with a new guy you’re dating. Because wanting a family is considered “normal” for women, a lot of dudes just assume the girl they’re with wants kids. Of course that’s not always the case. A lot of women out there don’t feel the draw to motherhood and that’s 100% normal, too. But, it is something you need to be sure you express in your relationship. Here’s exactly when to do it.
After you like him
Look, as a woman without kids, I’m going to be honest with you – sometimes you get judged. It’s not pleasant or right, but it’s real. So, save yourself the judgment and don’t bring up the kids stuff earlier than you have to. This is an intimate decision and you should only discuss it with someone you want to be intimately involved with. Make sure you like this guy before you start sharing your life plans.
Before sex
You guys know that I say you should save sex until after you’ve decided to be monogamous. That monogamy conversation shouldn’t just be about not boning other people. You guys should talk about what you ideally want out of a relationship and if this relationship could meet your needs. What’s the point of getting serious with someone if the two of you can’t seriously be together? Better not to waste either of your times.
When you talk about your future
Sometimes your future comes up in more casual conversations than the monogamy discussion. If it does, that’s the perfect time to talk about how you envision your life without kids. There’s absolutely no reason to hide that you don’t want kids. So, share that info when you’re sharing other thoughts on your future career, location and lifestyle.
Before you meet his family
Don’t let family get involved before you two discuss plans for your own future family. If you two aren’t on the same page about big elements of your life, meeting his family can turn into a powder keg situation. One question from a nosey mother or overbearing uncle can turn a pleasant meet-n-greet into a Guinness World Record of awkward moments. For whatever reason, families feel entitled to ask about your future plans for families and you and your boo need to be on the same page before you give that answer publicly.
Not wanting kids is a completely normal inclination and it can lead to a completely happy life, as long as your partner’s on the same page. Bring the kiddie topic up at the right time to be sure you two have the same version of your future life, before you get too deep into building it.
