Meeting your new guy’s friends is a huge deal. Not quite as big as meeting the parents, but it’s definitely on the same relationship marker spectrum. It means he’s proud of you and wants to show you off to people who are important to him. And he should be. You’re awesome, woman! But, that first friend meet isn’t always smooth sailing. I’ve heard friend horror stories that will make even the worst mother-in-law stories look like fairy tales. Here’s what to do when things go awry in the friend department.
Get out
If you’re feeling deeply uncomfortable with his group of friends for any reason, don’t be a hero and stick it out. Get yourself out of there, lady. You don’t have to be dramatic about it and you don’t have to drag your guy away from somewhere he’s having fun. Just feign stomach issues (no one questions that), call yourself an Uber and get back to your comfort zone. I know some people will coach you into sticking around. But, I don’t think any good can come from muscling through an icky situation with new people you’re trying to impress.
Figure out what happened
Once you’re back to a situation where you feel like yourself, figure out what exactly went wrong. Did his best friend say something racist? Did someone cut you down? Did the group only talk about inside jokes and no one explained them to you? Does it seem like his closest female friend is actually in love with him? Pinpoint the exact things that made you feel out of place.
Decide what to do
Now that you know what happened, you have to figure out what to do. If he has one jerky friend who seems to only talk in sexist jokes, that’s gross, but totally livable. You can just avoid this guy moving forward. Do you not trust your man around his boys now that you’ve met all of them and see that they’re no good? That’s another situation. You should know your guy well enough to trust him no matter what the situation is. If you don’t, then it might be a sign that you shouldn’t be dating this man. Your job here is to decide what it would take to make you never feel that way around his friends again.
Talk to your man
Now it’s the tough time of sharing your feelings with your guy. It’s not going to be easy. These are his friends and he obviously loves them. But, if he loves you, he’ll hear you out. Maybe you need him to explain to his friends that they need to respect you. Maybe you need him to be sure to keep you and a few select people in his friend group separate. Maybe you need to end it with your guy. Whatever you decide, you should communicate with your man and let him help you through it.
Good luck, ladies! Hopefully it will go a little better when he meets your friends!
