Cheating. Let’s talk about it. With the AshleyMadison.com data leak, how could we not? It feels like it’s the only thing I’m hearing about recently. With news of Josh Duggar having an account, a prominent Christian family vlogger, and non-celebrity friends finding out their men were on the site, lots of people are buzzing about the topic. So, I thought I’d dig into this ugly topic and help women out there who may have cheating partners.
This isn’t the end
Cheating isn’t the end of a relationship. Or, it doesn’t have to be. Lots and lots of relationships have had cases of infidelity and gone on to be flourishing, healthy, romantic partnerships. Nothing is final at all about this, so don’t automatically think that. You have a long road ahead of you, whether you decide to stay together or end it. So, think of this as a beginning. Not a happy, sunshine beginning, but a beginning nonetheless.
Get help
Take stock of your emotional state. Some people may be able to deal with an issue like this solo. But, I really think a couple’s counselor can be super helpful shepherding your man and you through this trying period. Even if you’re sure you want to end the relationship, a few sessions can help you do it in a way that’s much more civil and less painful than if you went it without professional help.
Decide together what you want
After you’ve fully absorbed the infidelity, it’s time to decide what you want out of this relationship. Do you want to stay together or break up? Either decision could be the right one for you and staying with a cheater is not a sign of weakness. It can be a brave decision. Once you know what you want, you have to talk to your man and get on the same page so you’re both pull in the same direction. That might be easier said than done in some cases, but it’s worth the effort.
Eff everyone else
EVERYONE in the whole world is going to have an opinion about your relationship and what your next steps should be. Eff them! Who cares what they have to say? They’re not in your relationship and they have no idea what the right decisions are for you two. You’re going to have to get really good at tuning them out. Even if they’re people you love, just ignore them. Or even better, tell them that you love and respect them, but don’t need any feedback on this very sensitive and intimate part of your life. If they want to help you, they can just support you every step of the way and be completely opinion free.
I feel for you women out there dealing with infidelity. The pain there is real, but you’ll get through this and be happy again, one way or another. Just trust in that and focus on moving forward and you’ll be fine. Good luck!
