Avoid showing too many “selfies” on Facebook as it can be a turn-off to men.
It should be no surprise to you to hear that social media and the internet have changed the way people meet and date drastically. As soon as you are introduced to someone, your first instinct is to use Google, Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter to learn as much about the person as the site will allow. Gone are the days of having to be on the actual date to learn where someone grew up, where they work, or their favorite places to vacation.
As a Matchmaker, I get a lot of questions about how to deal with social media appropriately while dating. Singles worry about what to post, how many pictures to have, when to accept friend requests, what relationship status to post…the list goes on and on.
Recently, someone wrote in asking a great question to get us rolling on this topic. Here’s my two cents, and I’d love to hear what you have to say about this conundrum as well!
Question: When I use Facebook, what sort of photos should I be posting so that I look appealing to someone I am interested in dating?
For women
I always say this: Try to stay away from posting tons of photos of just yourself every day. When you constantly post “selfies” of you on the beach in a bikini, gallivanting around town, holding up champagne, or eating out; guys think that all you do is obsessively post about yourself.
Keep it to a couple of key photos, and try not to over do it with a constant stream of daily outfit updates. It’s also important to remember that if you are single, don’t post photos of yourself with a lot of guys! No guy you are dating wants to see that two nights before you were flirting with other men. That is a total turn-off!
Just because you have started dating someone, it does not mean you have to broadcast to the world that you are off the market.
For men
I find that a lot of guys tend to feel the need to post photos of themselves surrounded by tons of beautiful and sexy women so that girls looking at their profile will find them desirable. Little do they know that this is a total turn-off for a woman who they might be interested in seriously dating. No girl wants to look at a guy’s Facebook page and see that he is surrounded by tons of other women. These sorts of photos make a man seem unappealing and unavailable.
Another tip I think is really important in terms of Facebook is to be careful with changing your “relationship status.” Don’t change it every two seconds from being in a relationship to being out. Just because you have started dating someone, it does not mean you have to broadcast to the world that you are off the market. This is especially true if the other person is not reciprocating on his or her personal page. Wait until you are together for a long period of time and/or you both agree to change your statuses together when you are dating exclusively!
Have more questions on navigating social media, dating, or matchmaking? I’d love to answer them. Send them along to: LisaClampitt@matchmakinginstitute.com,
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