I’m going to introduce you to a lovely guy. You probably see him all the time, but you’ve never met him because he won’t introduce himself to you. That’s right, I’m going to introduce you to Mr. Shy Guy so you can understand dating from his perspective, and so you know how to bring this potentially amazing boyfriend out of himself.
This guy is a mystery to you. When you see him out with his friends, he’s always laughing and joking. He seems like he’s always having such a great time. The weird thing is, whenever you go to talk to him or make conversation he starts getting really nervous and edgy. I mean this man changes completely.
You need to understand something very important about this man. Why does he go from super confident and bold with his friends, to quiet and nervous around you?
Very simply, the guy is attracted to you.
Some women misread this behavior. I’ve asked a few women why they think men get nervous around them, and some feel like the change in behavior is a deliberate attempt to turn her off, or to show he isn’t interested in her. It seems so obvious to me as a man, but to women, it can come across as a man being unfriendly deliberately.
Ladies…
The opposite is happening here. Think about it for a minute. One minute he’s confident and bubbly with his friends, then he talks to you and goes into himself, then he goes back to his friends and he’s all energetic and lively again. When he’s talking to the bar man or waiter he’s Mr. Confidence, but when he starts talking to you he becomes Mr. Shaky and Quiet.
Maybe his voice is even shaking he’s that nervous around you. So what can you do to help him out? I mean, he’s a good-looking guy and you want to get to know him. For one thing, don’t ask him outright, “Am I scaring you?” because that will make him a million times worse.
Just speak to him calmly and ask him general questions about life. As you start to relax him into a conversation then you can take things a bit deeper and find out more about who he is. As long as you’re engaged, and interested in what he has to say, he’s going to feel like he’s doing well and he’ll start to relax.
Remember that life is energy. The energy you feel from someone affects the dynamic of your interaction. If he’s nervous and you start acting nervous, it’s going to double the nervous energy and will uncomfortable for both of you.
If you like the guy, it’s up to you to become the calming influence in the conversation so he notices that energy. Don’t sit back when you’re talking to a nervous guy. Don’t be afraid to take the lead. He’s not always going to be shaking like a leaf in your presence. It’s just about breaking the ice with him. Once you get through that nervous shell of his, you’ll probably find a strong, confident, passionate man inside him, desperate to get to know you and become your man.
To find out more about how to understand men, check out my free video “How To Speak Man”
