Moving in with your dude is a huge step. Massive! Major! Stop the presses and report on this because it’s big! Seriously, this is a whopping commitment. Really, it’s one step away from getting engaged. You all know that I believe the ring should come first, but since many people feel rules are made to be broken, I have tips for you rebels too. Don’t go into it lightly. This isn’t just the next step in a relationship after saying, “I love you.” It’s a step that involves a lot of planning, talking, compromise and some serious patience. For cohabitation to be successful, you should take advice from an expert or a friend you trust. Here are my thoughts:
Figure out finances first
I know this isn’t sexy, but it’s so, so necessary. Sit down and talk to your dude about finances. Figure out if you want to set up a joint bank account, how you are going to divvy up new purchases for your place and your priorities when it comes to big purchases. For example, are you going to get spendy with deluxe cable or a brand new feather-topped bed? This all needs to be discussed before a new lease is even signed. It won’t be a fun conversation, but it’ll be way better than the screaming match it will prevent.
Divide responsibilities
Split up your responsibilities evenly. Don’t go wishy-washy on anything. I want an even list between the two of you. He handles laundry. You do the bills. He walks the dog. You take out the trash. This will make it clear whose job is whose and prevent little annoying things from getting on your nerves.
Have your own space
If your place is big enough, make sure there’s a spot in it that’s just yours. (And same thing goes for him too.) You get to decorate it. You get to call it what you want. And best of all, you get to be in it. Alone. And if your place isn’t big enough for that kind of space, then make sure you have alone time in the apartment without your man. If he plays basketball once a week, make that your home night. Having time alone in your place is important and will make you value the time you spend together even more.
Schedule a weekly date night
Living with your boo makes it easy for you to start treating him like a roommate, when he’s really your soul mate. (He is, right? You’re not moving in with anyone you think of as anything less, right? Right?) Make some time to still date each other by having a weekly date night. And end each date night in a sex night. Regular special occasions, flirting and sex will make your roommate situation a successful relationship situation too.
Anyone here moving in with a dude in the near future? Or any cohab pros with tips? Share them in the comments and let’s talk about it!
