Here’s an open letter to all women:
The next time a man suggests date number two or date number three dinner, you need to suggest let’s make it together.
Men have been programmed to take you out to dinner, but deep down they’re sick of it. Men who are over thirty and been actively dating have been to every restaurant in town twice.
They’re so bored, so sick of dinners yet, the majority of men truly believe that that’s what they need to do for dating.
Now I know men need to get creative. Long walks on the beach are a cliché for a reason.
There is hiking, there is window shopping, there is a million things we can do. The problem is…
1. Men Are Not Creative
Men want to please you. Most men have this mindset when they go out on a date:
I want to do something to impress her, but I have no idea where to start.
How many times have you been out with a man and he’s trying so hard to impress you it’s kind of comical?
They’re bending over backwards; they’ve memorized facts, read up on the latest gossip. They know how dry a coffee date can be, and the dinner dates can go on for a few hours!
Then after the date they establish a second date. Unfortunately, they haven’t learned enough about you yet to figure out where a good second date would be.
Would you love roller-skating or would it hurt your feet. Are you the kind of girl who would enjoy a sporting event or is a concert more your style?
He has no idea where to start, but he knows you have to eat to survive, so dinner’s the safest bet.
2. It’s Hard to Get to Know Someone
Dinner conversation is all the same. It varies a little from here to here depending on the date and the atmosphere. But for the most part all the conversations are the same.
You chat about your job for a few minutes. Then you move onto family and friends. You dabble in hobbies. You talk about how good the meal is. You talk about your past and before you know it another enjoyable, but not very exciting date has happened.
It starts to feel like you’re going out on the same date over and over. You forget who liked what and who’d been where?
It’s at this point that many women ask me what they can do to stand out. The easiest answer is to ask the man about himself and elaborate where you can.
When people are trying to impress they tend to talk about themselves too much. Intelligent questions make a huge difference in a conversation.
It’s the difference between What did you do at work today and Tell me more about how you do your job.
One asks for specific details and feelings about a life and the other is a throw away. One asks a person to engage in conversation with you the other says, “I’m not very interesting.”
3. Men are Hungry for More Than Dinner
Dinner is great and we need it to survive, but if a man never has to go on another dinner date he’ll be so grateful. Think about all the fun things you’d like to do.
Think of all the times you’ve been browsing the internet, saw a hotel, a theme park, a museum and you thought to yourself, “One day I’m going to do that.”
Everyone has a wish list like this, but it’s rare to see people deciding to use this list when it comes to dating.
Dating is the perfect time to try something new. Even if the place isn’t as fun as you thought it would be, now you’ve got a new story and a new adventure.
You make the date fun and unique, you’re more likely to be remembered and called on for the next fun thing. If you want your phone to ring off the hook with guys calling you for dates find something other than dinner.
Photo credit: Public domain
