Tag Archives: love advice
Starting 2015 off single? Don’t worry, you are not alone! Now is the perfect time to reflect on your past relationships, and determine what you are looking for in your next partner. It is also the perfect time of year to take this next piece of advice into consideration. I promise if you do, it will make all the difference in your love life.
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I know, I know…some of you are rolling your eyes at the title of my blog. Seriously, what can The Bachelor teach us about love? When the first season aired in 2002, I too thought, What are these women thinking? Where’s their self-respect? But when I watched this season’s episodes, I had a different take on the show. It’s not because it’s any different now than 13 years ago, but because I’m different. In 2002 I was still in college. Now, I’m a dating and relationship coach who has spent the last several years specializing in love and researching what makes relationships work. It’s been my job to help my clients figure out why they act like they do when it comes to love. Are people truly crazy and irrational, or can behaviors actually make sense? In the context of love and our need to connect with a person, the bachelorettes’ behaviors seem pretty reasonable. Here are 4 lessons from The Bachelor that can be applied to your love life:
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When you drive down Washington Boulevard in West LA the beautiful, snow-covered San Berndino Mountains frame the city’s skyline. Those mountains are breath taking.
But West LA is full of over priced disgusting buildings. It kills the mood. You’re drilling around sunset. The mountains catch your eye. It’s serene and peaceful. Than the ugly buildings come into view. It ruins the journey.
What does this have to do with finding a man?
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I go through mega music binges. I’m not the only one, right? Like, some weekends, I just want to listen to one artist and one artist only. Right now, I’m in a total Whitney Houston phase. She will forever and always be one of my favorites. And I will always be in mourning for losing one of the greats too soon. This afternoon, I was jamming out to “How Will I Know?” which is tied with “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” as my favorite Whitney song. Anyway, I was listening to the lyrics and I was thinking that she’s actually asking a really great question. How will you know when your boo really loves you? Here are three major hints.
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Call me a cheeseball—you wouldn’t be the first—but, I love a good quote! In fact, I kind of collect them. I’ve had a quotebook for as long as I can remember. In it, I jot down meaningful quotes that I hear and read. Then, I sometimes read through my little quote book and it makes me feel all warm and mushy inside. I have quotes in my book about everything. So, I thought I’d start sharing some of my favorites with you. Here’s my first batch—my favorite quotes about relationships.
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If I ask what you think of a man you’ve just met and you say,
"He's really sweet."
Or…
"We've become really good friends"
Or…
“He's a good communicator”
What I’m hearing you say is, “I’ve found Mr. Good Enough”
Really? Is that all you’re looking for?
So I follow with this question:
“Are you attracted to him?”
If you say, “No, but look at all of the other qualities he brings to the table. You can’t have everything”
You can’t? Who told you, you can’t have everything?
You’ve got one life to live. Why would you settle for Mr. Just Good Enough?
In your online profile, the one that you wrote to attract Mr. Good Enough, you said that you're willing to date a guy who drinks a little bit, smokes a little bit, or is a little overweight. Even though these are things you don’t want if you lead a clean life.
I see so many of you willing to put your priorities of a side so that you can find a mate. You don't smoke, you don't drink, but you're willing to put that aside for a date.
You're going to die, and it may not be pretty, it may not be nice.
You might be hit by a car…
You might have terminal cancer…
You might live to the ripe old age of 85, and live to regret everything you've ever done. You have no idea what the future holds for you. So, when you date ‘Mr. Good Enough’, you're telling yourself that you don't deserve any more.
You don't deserve to think outside of the box you put yourself in. You don't deserve to talk to a guy that you're really turns you on. Imagine telling the guy that you're most attracted to that you want to f*ck his brains out.
Imagine laying out all your feelings on the table. And you have no idea what he likes, and it’s scary. Because, he's not Mr. Good Enough, he's Mr. Sexy. Here’s the deal.
You, as you are right now, with the body you are in, whether it's blonde, brunette. Whether you're curvy, whether you're skinny, whether you big boobs, small breasted, whatever it might be, doesn't matter.
God, the universe, whatever you believe in, gave you thisbody, thissoul. So have fun with it. By dating Mr. Good Enough you are not fulfilling the contract that was given to you when you were born.
You were born to live a life of unlimited possibilities. You were born to live a life that had no regrets. You were born to live a love of sparkling aligned and experiencing things that you've never experience before.
So, why would you consistently date Mr. Good Enough?
Stand up for yourself as a woman. You deserve to get what you want. You deserve to date who you want. You need to open up your heart, your soul and get more daring.
Otherwise, your fear-based life is going to continue to repeat over and over again until you die. And, when you’re lying in the hospice, the first thought you’re going to have isn’t going to be about how much you made, or the friends you have, no you’ll be thinking, “Why did I choose to settle?”
You always dated Mr. Good Enough.
You are going to think, why didn't I try for the man of my dreams when I could have?
And here’s the catch – so many of you think it’s already too late. But when you look back in twenty years (if you get that long) you’ll think 20 years younger you was hot stuff. You still had it at 40, 50, even 60.
Stop being afraid. Every day you waste is another day you can’t get back. CLICK HERE and I’ll show you how to find your Mr. Right because you deserve so much more than Mr. Good Enough.