Ladies…
You know I love you all dearly, but today I have a little bone to pick with you. It’s about a very bad habit some women have, known as snooping. Now, snooping is not a term used to describe intuition, and “Having a feeling,” doesn’t excuse you having a dig around your boyfriend’s belongings.
It’s never OK to snoop on your man. You have to admit that sometimes, women are prone to use their natural intuition as an excuse to snoop, and it’s something guys hate. I received an email the other day from a lady called Lana, all about this. Here’s her email and below is my reply…
I’ve been staying with my boyfriend for a while now. This morning when I woke up we had a silly fight which got out of hand. It sounds silly but neither of us realized we’d run out of toilet roll, and we both blamed each other. Anyway, he stormed out the room in temper, and I don’t know why but while he was out the room I picked up his phone. When I did I saw a text message from a girl, where she suggested he sent her “some more of those pictures I like.I assumed the worst right away and confronted him. Why is this girl texting him asking for photos? We had another fight, and he said if I don’t trust him then I should leave. I said I was going and that I was sick of him not respecting me. He said he was glad and to take as much of my stuff as possible. I love him so much and it’s breaking my heart. I don’t want us to be over, but clearly he’s messing around with other women. What can I do?
OK, apart from the fact you snooped on his phone, let’s look at a few things which are wrong here. You woke up and had a fight about toilet roll? Are you serious? It’s toilet roll. Just go and buy some more and stop fighting. Who cares if you ran out and forgot? Make a joke of it. I mean it’s not the worst thing in the world that could happen to you is it?You obviously picked up his phone because you wanted to look for something. Maybe you had a feeling something was wrong, or whatever, but you went snooping and you found something you didn’t like. That’s where it all goes wrong. Maybe he’s been sending this girl funny photos like the ones you see on Facebook and Twitter. Why do you assume he’s sending naked photos of himself?
If you think there’s something going on then you should have spoken to him about it, without going through his phone. Then you say you love him and don’t want to lose him. Are you crazy? He shouted at you over the toilet roll, and then he’s kicking you out of his home? It sounds like he wants space because he’s not really into the relationship. He’s certainly not showing you much respect from what you’ve said here.
Lana, my thinking is it’s time for you to move on. It sounds like you’re both perhaps a little immature for each other. You certainly deserve better than a man who kicks off about toilet roll and then kicks you out just because you had one snoop on his phone. It all stinks of guilt to me. You snooped, you found something, he freaked, and now he’s defensive. When a man goes on the defensive like that it’s usually a sign of guilt.
It’s time to work on yourself, work on your confidence, build of your self-esteem, and take a little time for you. And learn from this that snooping on a man never turns out well.
