A funny thing happened at work this week. One of our female members and a male client got engaged!
Of course, this in itself isn’t the funny part. Engagements happen all the time around our Matchmaking office. The funny thing is that when Beth, my Director of Matchmaking, and I thought more about the history of this particular couple, we remembered that it took our female member a whole month to agree to go on a date with our male client.
We sent her information about him, told her how wonderful he was, and that we thought they would be perfect together, but she was not into it. Her response to our nudging was always, “Thanks so much for thinking of me, but I am not interested. Doesn’t seem like a good match to me.” (We have her emails to prove it.)
Finally, after a whole month of reassuring her that we really believed in this match, she reluctantly agreed to meet with our client.
It’s now one year later, they are happily engaged, and both feel they have met the love of their life.
This story made us curious about how many other times this has happened with our clients. We looked back at our roster, and sure enough we found several examples of this same situation. Clients would declare that our choice wasn’t right for them, and that the person we suggested couldn’t possibly be a good match. We would then go back and forth with them for weeks convincing them to give the person a shot. Once they finally agreed, they not only found relationship success, but many also found a marriage.
So what does this mean for singles?
Well, for one thing, you should always trust your matchmaker! Ha!
You can’t enter into dating with too many preconceived notions about who will be right for you.
More seriously though, in terms of learning from these experiences so that we can better advise daters who might not be working with a matchmaker, I would say this: these stories prove how important it is to be as open minded as possible when dating. You can’t enter into dating with too many preconceived notions about who will be right for you. You need to be open to any potential match, as long as you both have common relationship goals, and values.
The reason it is easier for a matchmaker to determine who makes a good match is because we have an outsider’s view of the situation. We look at factors that determine long term relationship compatibility, not just sexual or physical attraction.
It’s not impossible to do this for yourself. Stay open-minded, meet as many different kinds of people as you can, and find out whose relationship and life goals align with your own. You never know who might end up as your husband or wife, so open up your mind, and give everyone a chance.
