I had a very interesting day.
For some reason, the universe aligned in one day. I was somehow connecting with two ex-lovers.
I hadn’t seen either of them in a long time, but it so happens I had lunch with one and dinner with the other. I don’t know how it all went down. Maybe an email, maybe running into another one, but it was an absolutely amazing day to reconnect with people who I had very nice warm feelings about from my past.
As I sat opposite each of these women, I realized why I chose them in the first place. Both were warm. Both were loving. Both were self-aware. Both were really cool, and both were fun to be with. As I sat across from them, I could see why I was so attracted to each of them in parts of my life. As I talked to them I realized that as amazing as they were then, they’re still amazing now. Which is funny.
How many times have we been with somebody and it just doesn’t work — for whatever reason it doesn’t work out. A lot of times it doesn’t work out because there’s stuff going on in your life. You’re dealing with things, you’re going through emotions, you’re processing different things. You have other things on your mind, other things that might be a priority.
It doesn’t mean that person is not great or amazing. It just means that the timing is off. We’ve heard so many times that timing is everything. But it’s funny, we’ll never reconnect because we’ll take it as something personal. Like we were wounded by them, or they broke our heart, or they hurt us at that moment without really knowing the real reason.
A lot of the time when you breakup, it’s never really about what somebody did, it’s just about what they had going on in their life. They weren’t ready for the gift of you at that moment.
So after having this reconnection with two beautiful, amazing women from my past, I thought I’d share it with you. I thought it would be nice for all of you to think about who you have in your past. Remember people you’ve dated where it just didn’t work out. All of a sudden it went from intimacy to vanishing.
I want you to think about reconnecting with them. Shoot them an email, or even a text. Something simple like, “hey I was thinking about you.” Or, “you are still on my phone, am I still in yours?”
Get together with them and have lunch or dinner. Just see what happens. Maybe you’ll get an explanation of why they vanished or why they ran. It’s okay. If you need to know why it didn’t work out, that’s perfectly fine.
But I want you to look at them as somebody who you’re seeing new, in the present. You’ll remember how wonderful they were in the past because they’re presenting themselves as a more evolved person right now. When I sat opposite the two women, over a separate lunch and dinner, I realized that both of them have grown.
They’re the same beautiful people they were before, only more evolved through their growth. If you can remember that and not think about the pain or the hurt or the disappointment, you might be able to see them for who they are now.
The person they are now might be somebody that could be good for you in the present moment. It’s not that you chose wrong. It’s that the time wasn’t right. Take another look at somebody from your past.
A friend of mine did that one time, and he ended up marrying her. A lot of things can happen. Think through, go through your database, instead of always looking for new. Think about somebody you were once with and ask yourself: “I wonder what they’re like now.” Open up that door. See what might happen.
It’s a beautiful day, and as always, I like to share with you my experiences so all of you can learn.
Will anything happen with these two women? Probably not, because I think we’re better off as friends. That’s where I am right now in my life, not looking for anything. But I have two beautiful people back in my life that I shared moments with, that I was intimate with, that I now can just be friends with, because I really was friends with them in the first place. I’d like you to do that. I think it’s going to be beneficial to you.
