There’s a point in every relationship when you get that feeling. You know the one — you’re meeting his friends, you’re suddenly saying “we” a lot, you’re starting to picture a future together. I’m talking about that point when you get a sense that the relationship could be getting serious. Nothing’s serious yet, but it’s getting there. You know what I’m talking about, right?
Well, the next time you get that feeling, I need you to pump the brakes a little and ask him these six very important questions. You’ve got to get these answers before you dive head first into a serious relationship, or else you could have a broken heart on your hands. And no one wants that.
What are you looking for?
I know this sounds simple, but it’s not at all. You’re probably thinking, he asked you out on that first date because he wanted to date you to eventually marry you. What else could he have been thinking? Well, ladies, dude minds work in weird ways, and they’re not always dating you because they’re looking for commitment. You just have to ask to know for sure.
Do you want kids?
This is a biggie. I know it seems like you’re jumping the gun, asking about kids so early into a relationship, but it’s a must. Trust me.
What’s your take on religion?
When two people get serious, religion is a big player. Even small differences between your faiths or your perspectives on spirituality can become big issues. Am I saying that two people of different faiths can’t make it work? Of course not. But I am saying that it won’t work if they don’t discuss it.
Do you have debt?
Tacky, I know. But just ask it. Finances is one of the top reasons couples split up, and you need to know this guy’s take on money before you get serious. That emotional investment will become a financial one if you get married. So just ask now.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
I know you’re dating him, not interviewing him, but this question will help you decide if your lives can fold together. In five years does he want a family and a picket fence when you want to be backpacking in Africa? Then I don’t think you’re a match. But if you two have a similar view of your futures, keep getting serious!
How would your parents feel about me?
I know we’re all adults and make our own decisions, and our parents can’t do anything about it. But, really, they do. His family’s reaction to you is going to color your relationship. So find out if there’s a reason — education, race, religion — his family could find it challenging to accept you. If there is one, don’t assume it’s a deal breaker. Just don’t wait until you’re ringing their doorbell to meet them before you discuss it.
