This is going to be a fun one.
Okay, where do I start…
I started seeing a girl recently who’s younger than I am. I mention this upfront because I believe it has direct influence on the story. I mean, I’m not breaking any laws but she’s more than ten years younger than I am, which makes her from a different generation.
When I first met her I didn’t think it was a big deal. Socially, I mean. I still don’t. I did feel like a cliché for a brief moment, older guy with hot young girl, but eventually figured you can’t help who you’re attracted to. Nor should you try.
If she was up for it, I definitely was too.
We liked being around each other, had great chemistry and were both interested in taking it to the next level.
Our first date was okay, but a bit like a first date. A little awkward. Neither of us knowing how much interest the other had. After a couple of glasses of wine, we kissed in the parking lot and that was it.
By our third date, I knew it was either going to happen now, or not. I knew she was interested but I hadn’t been involved for a while and lost a little of my swagger. I was a bit self-conscious. I invited her over for dinner and when she accepted I knew I was in.
By coming over for dinner it implied a certain amount of trust. I knew then she wasn’t afraid… boy was she NOT afraid.
After half a bottle of wine we started fooling around in the kitchen. I was immediately taken aback, something was different. I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time but I know now that what surprised me was the difference in our attitudes towards sex. It wasn’t just body hair, or the lack of it. It was a comfort level.
I was married for ten years (very little sex at the end) and then jumped into a rebound relationship, which was all about sex. But these women were closer to my age, which meant our ‘language of sex’ was very similar, we hadn’t grown up with the amount of porn available online.
As we were fooling around, I was amazed how forthright and comfortable she was, more surprising still was how much the way she moved, spoke and handled herself mimicked the girls doing porn on the internet. She was willing to do all the things they were. I realized this girl had learned about sex largely from the porn she had seen. The same way I learned about sex from reading Playboy and Penthouse, way back when.
In the first five minutes, She got me to be more adventurous sexually than I had ever been during my entire marriage! We were doing things I had seen and fantasized about, but never thought I’d find someone willing. Not only was she willing but she instigated them. This was sex for her. I thought, “Have I been sheltered”? No chance. I grew up in New York City in the 70’s, “Sex, drugs and Rock and Roll”!
I had an incredibly wild youth, had lost track of how many girls I slept with, yet, here was this young girl, showing me a whole new world. I was absolutely convinced I had had more sex than she, wasn’t I supposed to be the one expanding her horizons… not the other way around?
I wasn’t prepared.
I realized that if we were going to have a successful sex life and relationship, I needed to do some research. Fun research on the internet.
I have to say, when I had watched porn on the internet in the past, I was watching the girls. I mean, I’m straight. That’s why I’m there. It’s even shot for you to do that. A lot of times you can‘t even see the guy, barely anyway.
But now I had to go back and watch the guys, right? What they do, how they move… etc.?
Well that’s what I did and it helped. I felt more confident and relaxed and I learned a few new tricks in the process. My young girlfriend noticed… and appreciated it. Eventually, I told her how I was a little intimidated at first and what I had done to remedy it.
She smiled, gave me a kiss and said, “Good move”. I guess it was.
If you’re back on the dating scene after a long absence, or you’re dating a younger girl, or you feel a little lacking in the bedroom and want to satisfy your girlfriend, you may want to do the some research, as I did. Things change quickly, and by my accounts, definitely for the better.
Pay attention, it’s a whole new world.
