My guess is that both friends and dating columnists have warned you to steer clear of guys who are “on the rebound.”
Well, get ready for the curve ball that I am about to throw your way. In my experience, this is not always advice you should follow!
I strongly believe that if you are talking about a man who is a relationship-oriented guy (meaning he is most comfortable being in a partnership and knows how to be a committed boyfriend/partner) he is not going to stay single for very long after a break up. If you don’t snap him up fast, someone else will. That great guy will be off the market before you can even bat an eyelash. Why would you steer clear of such a winner just because he recently broke up with someone?
Believe me, I know that my take on the issue is controversial among other matchmakers and dating coaches. Regardless, I stand by it. Here are some other reasons why.
Being dumped or ending a long relationship is so challenging no matter the circumstances, so why should you be forced heal from the loss alone? When someone feels happier and more comfortable in a relationship, why should they force themselves to stay single? By getting right back out there they will be saving themselves from sitting alone agonizing over what went wrong in their last relationship.
I can’t tell you how many times I have had a client come into my office obsessing about the last person they dated. Once I get them out on a few dates they become distracted by all the fun they are having, and their mind opens up to the many possibilities that are out there for their future.
Don’t follow any silly rules that you might have heard about how long someone should be single before you date them.
Another hot topic is whether or not a matchmaker should work with a client who is newly separated from their spouse. In one of my recent articles I discussed how there are many matchmakers who would never work with a client who isn’t yet divorced because they don’t feel they are emotionally ready for a new relationship. Again, I can’t stress enough how after working with thousands of individuals as a matchmaker, I find that this is simply not always the case. As long as the person who is separated is honest with their matchmaker, and the matchmaker is honest with their potential dates about the client’s current situation, then I think it is fair play.
The last thing I want to throw in is a little personal anecdote. I always try to talk about my personal experience with clients so they will see that I practice what I preach. When I met my husband he had just ended a three- year relationship. This it the same guy who asked me to marry him just 20 minutes after we met! He is a relationship-oriented guy, and will always be that way. If I had been hung up on the idea that he was maybe on the rebound because he had just gotten out of a relationship I would have blocked myself from marrying the love of my life!
The moral of the story is that a relationship guy is a relationship guy. Don’t follow any silly rules that you might have heard about how long someone should be single before you date them. Snap these good guys up before some other lucky lady does.
