Let me guess. You don’t have orgasms as often as you’d like. You’re annoyed that your partner doesn’t know what to do to get you there. You can’t remember the last time you had an orgasm, or if you’ve ever had one in your life.
Well, here’s the truth. There are two kinds of women:
Some women are lucky and they had their first orgasm while riding a bike when they were seven-years-old and the other women experience far greater challenges reaching orgasm. Many women fall into the latter category. Here are some tips that will make your solo time even more enjoyable:
Ask yourself these questions: how well do you know your body? Do you know what makes you feel good? How much time have you spent pleasuring yourself? Getting to know your own body is the first, and most important, step toward having the sex life you deserve.
Some women are lucky and they had their first orgasm while riding a bike when they were seven-years-old and the other women experience far greater challenges reaching orgasm.
My best friend Lucy in college never had an orgasm before. She was 19-years-old, had sex with two guys and she was taking matters into her own hands. Literally.
That summer Lucy had an internship in Colorado. She was lucky enough to secure her own dorm room and went to work…on herself. For 30 days and nights she masturbated every which way. Lucy was patient. The first few days, nothing. Then she relaxed into it, she stopped thinking, “Am I going to have one? Is this it?” She decided to settle into her own body. She took deep breaths. After 30 days she not only became orgasmic, but also is still the most multi-orgasmic person I know.
How much time have you devoted to learning what really makes you feel good? When was the last time you discovered a new erogenous zone on your own body? Many women have no idea what makes them feel good and rely on their partner to make it happen. Why doesn’t he know the answers? So many women believe, “Someday my prince will come and so will I.” Think about it.
Well, the vagina is the rubik’s cube of life to many men: They just can’t figure it out.
They’re trying to crack the code, but the truth is there isn’t a code
Every woman’s body is different. What she desires is different. There’s no way a man is going to know every little thing you need to achieve orgasm. He won’t know if you like soft touches or more pressure. He can’t guess that you only like being touched on the outside of your clitoris and that your breasts respond best to light touch.
You need to be the mistress of your own universe, the queen of your domain, before you can have the sex life you desire.
Someday my prince will come and so will I
Start tonight. Draw a bath, or put on your favorite music. Take the orgasm out of the equation. Just touch yourself softly all over you body, and see what feels good. Clitoral stimulation is a great place to start.
There are so many fun, discreet and pretty toys on the market. You can find one that suits you. My favorite vibrators are the Je Joue MiMi because it’s discreet yet powerful, and the Original Magic Wand because if nothing else works it will solve your orgasm problems, and any other problems you may have for that matter.
The most important thing is to have fun with it. It’s your body and you’re responsible for how much or how little pleasure you can have. And if you’re like most the planet, the more pleasure the better.
Want more Sex With Emily? Check out my podcasts for free on itunes, my book Hot Sex and my iPhone apps Kegel Camp and Sex Drive. Follow me on Twitter: @sexwithemily and Facebook: Sex With Emily
