Please tell me you were as obsessed about the blue and black/white and gold dress phenomenon as I was. I mean, of course you were. You’re a human with internet connection. That one little dress set the internet ablaze. Some people took a look at the picture and saw a blue and black dress. Others saw a white and gold dress. It turns out, that it’s all about color theory and the way our brains perceive things and color isn’t real and blah bliggity blah. Whatever. The bottom is line is the people can look at the same image and see completely differently things. It happened with this dress picture in a very pointed way, but it happens in a million different ways in real life. And when you’re in a relationship with someone and he sees a situation differently than you do, it can be a real challenge. Here’s what to do.
Speak your truth
Your man isn’t purposefully trying to annoy you by how he’s seeing this thing. (If he is, smack him upside the head!) His perception just gives him a different truth than your perception gives you. So, explain to him how you’re seeing the situation and why you’re seeing it that way. Be calm and clear and specific. Don’t give up just because he doesn’t see it your way right away. Your way is very specific to you. It took you a long time to become the person you are and see the world the way you do. You can’t expect him to catch on perfectly after a five minute break down.
Listen to his side
Give him a chance to fully explain his side, too. It’s going to be frustrating to hear because it’s not your side. I get it. But, push the frustration away and focus on trying to understand him. Don’t interrupt when he’s talking or explain why he’s wrong while he’s speaking. Your job is to really and truly hear everything he has to say.
Find an “us” solution
Now that you’ve both spoken and been heard, find a solution that works for you two as a couple. You have to be willing to compromise and so does he. Remember, you’re finding a solution that will make both of you happy. Don’t make this a “he won this time, so I’ll win next time,” thing. It’s not about one person getting their way. It’s about finding a way that feels good enough for both of you.
Move on
You handled that situation and now it’s over. Let it be over! Trust that you made the right decisions for your relationship and don’t dwell on who got what. You did a good job and you learned about each other and problem solving. Don’t bring up what you sacrificed in this situation the next time there’s a disagreement. Move on!
Good luck with handling situations like this. And obviously, this dress is blue and black. Duh!
