What the mystery lover dream means
Of all the dream themes we experience, there is none as emotionally polarizing as the sex dream. These dreams will either leave you with a spring in your step or an inability to look others in the eye the next day. Back in the Middle Ages, sex dreams were so shameful that people attributed them to Incubi or Succubi, male and female sex demons, who would molest the unwary while they slept! This far-fetched idea was likely due to a need to absolve oneself from the perversion felt upon waking… “Wow, that couldn’t possibly have come from my mind! Why that must have been a horny little demon trying to wreak havoc on my pure and Godly thoughts! Yeah, that makes sense. I’m going with it.”
Nowadays sex dreams are not quite as taboo; in fact, according to a recent study at the University of Montreal, sex dreams make up about 8 percent of all dreams for both men and women. Society’s openness regarding sex coupled with our growing interest in understanding dream content has taught us that, surprisingly, sex dreams are rarely about sex at all – no matter how saucy they might be.
Whether you are dreaming of a passionate tryst with Brad Pitt on the beaches of Puerto Vallarta with the rhythm of the waves matching the rhythm of your bodies, or you’re getting it on with the geeky guy – or gal – in the cubicle behind you, it’s important to remember that sex, to your dreaming mind, is not about a physical union you want, but rather a psychological union you need!
In these next series of articles, as we explore the more common sex dreams and what they mean, you’ll not only begin to feel more comfortable about your sex dreams, you’ll also discover how the dreaming mind cleverly uses sex to show you – not who but what – you desire and need to merge into your own personality.
The Mystery Lover is the most common of all sex dreams. Many of us wonder if this dream is actually a glimpse of our soul mate who might be out there somewhere waiting for us. Alas, t’is not so. But what is so is that the unknown, faceless man or woman that often appears in our dreams does indeed hold significance. As you may remember in Chapter 2, our dreams have a cool way of showing us the different parts of our personality in the form of a person so we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and what makes us tick. That being said, the mystery lover in your dreams is the embodiment, the personification of the qualities we tend to associate with that gender. If you are a woman, the mystery man represents your male personality traits, the part of you that can be assertive, speak your mind, bring home the bacon, handle your business and even squish the spider in the tub.
Whenever a woman needs to assert herself or take charge in some form or fashion such as when she is up for a promotion, when she is a single parent and has to play the role of both, or when she needs to speak up for herself during the day, these are the times when the mystery lover will pay her a visit at night. If you are a man, the mystery woman represents your female qualities… yes, even the hairiest and burliest of men have at least a touch of feminine wiles within. Female qualities are the traits we usually associate with women, such as sensitivity, creativity, being a good listener, nurturing yourself and those around you. From time to time in a man’s life, it will do him well to acknowledge and utilize these softer qualities. Throughout life we struggle to incorporate the right balance of each into our personalities and behavior. A man wants to be caring and understanding, yet he doesn’t want to be a sissy. A woman wants to assert herself, yet she doesn’t want to be labeled the B word! Our mystery lover dreams are guiding us towards that perfect balance of firm and gentle, bold and caring, yin and yang.
The next time you get a mystery lover dream, remember that it is time to recognize the male assertive energy or the female nurturing energy within you. Merge these opposite qualities into your personality just as you merged your bodies in the dream so that you can be courageous and take charge when you must, and be tender and compassionate when you want.
Have you had a mystery lover dream? I’d love to hear about it. Please share them in the comments below. And stay tuned because next week we’ll cover the “sex with the ex” dream!
