So you’ve met a great new guy and things have progressed, and you think everything is great. You have what you think is a great sex life and you’re certainly satisfied. He seems like he’s satisfied. Then, you’re at his house one night and you’ve got to e-mail your friend, so you open up his laptop. Being a woman you can’t resist to check his browser history, or maybe he left another window open. Your mind tells you not to do this. And lets face the facts, we’re all snoops, every single one of us. I haven’t met a woman yet who’s not a snoop even though you all say you’re not. It’s in your genes, its in your blood, its in your genetics. So you look and what do you find? Oh, his porn addiction. You confront him. You’re hurt, you’re angry, and you think to yourself you’ve never had better sex in your life. You don’t understand how he can want anybody but you. When you talk to him about it all he says to you is, ‘I’m a sex addict’.
A sex addict? You just had sex five times this weekend. How many more hits does this addict need? What is it, cocaine? How many more lines does he need to do? So what is making this click? What is it about men that gives them this urge to watch so much porn? And come up with this excuse of being a sex addict?
Is there anything you can do about it? I mean it’s so readily available these days. You can watch it on your phone if you want . It’s free and it’s become totally acceptable. But it bothers you, and it should.
Well, if you had really connected with him, taken more time to find out if he was the right guy, this so called sex addict would’ve been exposed months before you found out about it. Months before you took off your clothes and got intimate with him by just asking a few simple questions which I’m going to show you here.
“How much porn do you watch?”
I just met a girl I hit it off with and that’s exactly what she asked me… on our first date! I didn’t mind. I answered honestly. If he’s vague, evasive or flat out won’t answer there’s probably a problem.
“What kind of porn do you like, which sites?”
I’m not condemning anyone for their fantasies or saying one is better than the other. I’m cool with kinky and I definitely like naughty women. A lot. The point is to get an answer. If what he watches to get off makes you uncomfortable, it could be an issue. But it doesn’t have to be. Again, talk it out. You’ll know pretty quickly if you guys are on the same page sexually.
“How many partners have you had this year?”
Sex addicts don’t just like porn. Hook ups, sex clubs and prostitutes are also in their world. If you’re cool with him being DTF, no worries. If open relationships are not your thing, you should probably keep looking for the right guy.
“How often do you masturbate?”
How many times a week is too much? Depends on how old he is but more than 5 or 6 times a week at any age could be a red flag. Be prepared for this one. If you ask a guy this question he’s going to ask you the same one. And he’s going to want an answer. He’s dying to know so you better tell him. Men love the thought of women masturbating. Doesn’t make us perverts. Just guys!
Are you noticing the running theme here? Communication of course. It’s the basis for any great relationship, especially in the bedroom. As long as you talk things through before hand you won’t be surprised. Value honesty above all. If a guy you like is more (or less) adventurous when it comes to sex, than you are, it doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker. Talk about it! Have fun with it! Sex is healthy, good exercise and should be fun!
If you want to know more about how to talk to a man about porn, sex, fantasies and what works for you in the bedroom, check this out. It will definitely help.
