Tell me if this sounds familiar – You’ve been with your man for a bit and it suddenly feels like instead of being happy for you, everyone’s pivoted to asking you about your marriage plans. It’s freaking annoying, right? Do they think you’ve never thought about marriage? Never even heard of marriage? Come on, people. Obviously, it’s on your mind, too. Them bringing it up every five seconds isn’t helping! If you’re surrounded by people who seem obsessed with laying on the marriage pressure thick and you’re not feeling it, here’s how to deal.
Honesty
Be honest in your responses to these fools…I mean, your loving friends and family. Depending on how close you are with the person in question, share how you’re feeling about marriage, why you’re not married yet and – most importantly – how their pestering makes you feel. Never feel like you need to lie or play cool about your journey to marriage. Of course, you don’t have to tell the whole truth to every single person who asks. Still, you don’t need to fabricate anything or put on an act. Try a simple, “That’s private, so I’m going to keep it between my dude and me for now. But, we’ll let you know the second we’re ready to share any plans.” It’s honest and also sets boundaries.
Understanding
Before you get completely frustrated by the marriage questions and pressure, think about why these people are asking. It’s likely because they care about you as an individual and you two as a couple. They love you and are curious about your next steps. It’s really not to put you in an awkward situation or make you feel bad or behind their timeline of your love. If your reaction to their marriage pressure comes from a place of understanding, you’re going to have a much more productive response.
Self-love
Girl, treat yourself! Getting interrogated about your life trajectory is intense and stress-inducing. If you’ve been through a grind of questions and pressure, take some time to love yourself. Buy a candle, take a bath, eat chocolate. Do whatever makes you feel more whole, because marriage pressure can be so overwhelming that it flattens you out. Pump yourself back up!
Reconnection
Of course, you need to connect with your man about this. Talk to him and be sure you’re both on the same page about marriage. Also, tell him how he can help this pressure-filled situation. Maybe it’s talking to his family and asking them to stop with the 20 questions every time you come over. Or he could pipe up when he hears people asking you. As long and you two are on the same team, this pressure’s got nothing on you!
You can get through the weird marriage pressure-cooker and to an actual proposal if you follow these steps. I know it!
