I just read that Ellie Goulding set up Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris (everyone’s well, at least MY favorite couple du jour) because they were both tall. THAT was her reason. Um, does she think that Tay should date every single player in the NBA, too? That set up was based on nothing substantial. And a lot of my friends feel like they get set up with other people for superficial reasons, too. I think gay men have it worst. One of my gay besties calls it “gottagay.” As in, “I gotta a gay for you.” There’s nothing else connecting the two people, just that they both happen to be homosexuals. So, obviously they should date, right? Woof. Here’s how to deal when you’re approached with one of those scenarios.
Know where it’s coming from
I know these situation can be annoying. Trust me, they’re annoying from my perspective, too. Do you think there would be professional matchmakers if matchmaking were as easy as “you’re both tall,” or “you’re both Jewish?” There would not be! But, matchmaking comes from a place of love and whoever is doing this misguided setting up is coming from a really sweet place. Know that this ill-advised attempt is only about trying to make you happy. It should help ease all of the annoyance and rage you’re feeling inside.
Explain how you’re feeling
Tell this recreational matchmaker what you’re feeling. You don’t have to be negative or nasty about it. Just let them know how impersonal set ups like this make you feel like you’re just a characteristic, physical trait, religion or sexuality and not a whole person. Then, let them know exactly what you’re looking for in a partner, including your five non-negotiables, so they know what to look out for beyond the superficial traits they’ve been basing set ups on. Plus, you never know, your matchmaker could have been considering all of those things and just not mentioned it in their initial pitch.
Go on the date
And then you have to bite the bullet and go on the date. You never know what can happen. Even a broken clock’s right twice a day and your junior varsity matchmaker could have found a good person for you without even thinking about what truly matters. Dumb luck happens! Look at Taylor and Calvin. Those two tall people really seem really happy. Give this set up a chance and you could wind up be very grateful you did.
Singles, hope that helps you with this very sticky situation.
Photo credit: pedrosimoes7 / CC BY
