Was anyone else blown away by Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik’s break up? I sure was. And don’t even get me started on my feelings on how this season’s Bachelor ended. Becca was clearly shocked that Arie dumped her so he could double back and date Lauren. These two surprise endings got me thinking about how painful it can be when you’re in a relationship that ends unexpectedly. If you’re in that situation, here’s how to deal.
Give yourself time
You’re grieving a huge loss and that’s going to take time. Losing your expected future to a break up is similar to a death in a lot of ways. You don’t need to rush the healing process. Take all the time you need. And, honestly, it might be more than you even think you need. You’re dealing with shock and loss at the same time. It’s a real double whammy.
Know you won’t know
You want closure on the relationship and an explanation about what went wrong. I get that. But, no matter what your ex tells you, it’s not going to give you closure. Only you can give yourself that by accepting that you don’t understand your ex’s decisions and you never will. You won’t truly know their reasons and even if you did, it doesn’t matter because those reasons will probably seem like nonsense to you. You need to find peace in the confusion surrounding your break up and stop looking for answers.
Trust in your future
I know it’s hard to have faith in love when you have a broken heart, but love is worth believing in. Your future’s going to bring you happiness and love. You just need to trust that. You might not have expected this break up, but it happened. And now that you’re down in the dumps, you don’t expect life and love to be kind to you again, but it will happen. Just try to trust in your future.
Take your fun
Dive into whatever brings you joy during this awful time. You really need to take your fun wherever you can get it. Don’t judge yourself, or let other people’s judgments stop you. If you want to treat yourself to a fancy solo vacation, do it. If wallowing on your couch watching Pretty Woman seven times in a row sounds good, do that. Let fun happen any way it can because you deserve it!
I’m really sorry that you’re going through this break up. It sucks. All I can say is that these feelings won’t last forever, especially if you follow this advice.
