It’s the age old question: Does size really matter? Dr. Emily Morse is here to answer your questions about what to do if your man isn’t so well endowed. It’s not as bad of a situation as you might think.
Dear Emily,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a while now, and for the most part, everything has been going great. We have an amazing connection, both emotionally and physically, and I find him extremely sexy.. There’s just one problem. He isn’t very large in the penis department. I’ve never had an orgasm during sex with him, and I know he is really insecure about it because he really wants to please me sexually. Are there any ways for us to work around his penis size, or does this mean that I am doomed to an orgasm-less sex life?
Priscilla
Dear Priscilla,
On the one hand, congratulations on finding someone who you have a genuine connection with, and who truly cares about your pleasure! Many women out there are not so lucky. While some might see a small penis as a much bigger issue, I like to believe that a lover is much greater than the sum of his parts, no matter how big or small they may be.
In short, penis size doesn’t have to be a pleasure deal-breaker – You can still have amazing sex with a partner whose penis length is less-than-average. Here are 3 tips to help you navigate this small situation and maximize pleasure for both parties!
1. Amp Up The Foreplay:
This is a tip for all men, regardless of what they’re packing down below, because guess what? The majority of women cannot orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. Only about 20-30% of ladies consistently climax from plain old penis-and-vagina sex, meaning that less-endowed dudes have as much of a shot as any at providing their partners with multiple O’s.
This is his chance to make the most of the other tools he has at his disposal: his hands and his mouth. The more aroused you are before intercourse, the more likely you will be to have an orgasm. If he goes so far as to deliver you a couple orgasms before his penis even comes into play, then he will have one satisfied customer no matter what goes down in the main event.
2. Mind Your Positions:
There are two main types of orgasms women experience – the oh-so-elusive G-Spot orgasm and the more common clitoral orgasm. The clitoris is located outside of the vagina, (no penis necessary) and your G-Spot is nestled just a few inches inside, meaning you don’t really need a massive member to hit your sweet spots. It’s all about picking the best positions that makes optimal use of what he’s got.
Skip positions like missionary when you can, which aren’t as flattering for his size. Instead, opt for a woman-on-top position that puts the perfect amount of pressure on your clitoris and allows you to control depth and angle of penetration. Also, employ a grinding motion rather than a bounce in order to rub your pleasure points the right way. Another great option: the always popular doggie style! This position allows for some deep penetration, plus it will enable his penis to rub against your G-Spot.
Also, you can get the prime position for some intense penetration by bringing in some special bedroom furniture! The Liberator wedge, a favorite around the Sex With Emily office, puts you at the perfect angle for some effort-free G-Spot stimulation and extra-deep intercourse.
3. Sex Toys for Two:
Bringing a sex toy into your lovemaking is great for multiple reasons. It’s kinky, it feels great and it takes a little pressure off your guy and his equipment. My personal favorite couples’ vibrator is the We-Vibe 4 – It’s a toy you can actually wear during intercourse, and is especially useful if your partner is lacking a little in the girth department.
The toy has two prongs, one of which inserts into your vagina while the other rests on top of your clitoris for two times the pleasure! The We-Vibe helps fill you up, making it a tighter fit for your partner, and provides a vibrating sensation that you both will enjoy.
In essence, there’s no reason to rule out a partner based on the size of their package. If they learn to master other bedroom skills, and are willing to work with what they’ve got, you can still have a very satisfying and orgasmic sex life. After all, it’s the lover, not the sex (or the sex organs, as the case may be), that give the pleasure.
I love hearing from you! Please send all your questions to feedback@sexwithemily.com.
Want more Sex With Emily? Check out my podcasts for free on iTunes, my bookHot Sex and my iPhone apps Kegel Camp and Sex Drive. Check out my new intimate care line Emily & Tony for massage candles that turn into luxurious massage oil and DownUnder comfort to stay fresh and dry down there. Use Coupon Code SEXWITHEMILY or 20% off. Also, use coupon code EMILY for 15% off at Good Vibrations. These are my favorite sex toys and vibrators from Good Vibes: Sex Toy Recommendations (some restrictions apply). Never tried the #1 Male sex toy. Get a Fleshlight Here.
