I’m disappointed by the Presidential election outcome. Still. Honestly, disappointment is one of many emotions I’ve been having, but it’s a big one. And I think I will be for a long while. Of course, I’ll give Trump a chance to lead and sincerely hope he does a good job. I love this country more than I love or loathe any politician. This ongoing feeling of being so disheartened got me to thinking about how being sad over an event like this can impact a relationship. So, I wanted to talk about how to support your partner when they’re feeling upset and letdown. This doesn’t only apply during elections. Your partner can be disappointed due to losing a job, getting into a family argument or even sports. Emotional times like this are when partners need to step up. Here’s how you can be a good partner during disappointment.
Listen
When people are sad, it’s the time to listen. It’s not about telling them how to feel or sharing ways to cheer up. It’s also not when you should go into how you’ve dealt with similar events. Ask very open questions like “how are you feeling” and then listen to their answer. Really listen. Respond in ways that make them feel comfortable in their emotions. Things like “that sounds hard,” “I get why you’re feeling that way” and “tell me more” work. Flipping the script and talking about yourself or trying to change the topic to get their mind off of it won’t be helpful to them in the moment or your relationship in the long run.
Make things easier
During hard times, do your best to make things easier for your partner. That doesn’t mean do things to cheer them up. Cheering them up isn’t your job or something you’re even able to do. But, you can make their day to day easier so they can focus their energy on healing. For example, maybe you can take over their chores for the time being. Or you might want to avoid making social plans with people who would be tough to deal with. Treat your disappointed partner like they’re sick for a little while because being very down emotionally is on par with being sick physically. Take some things off their plate so they can concentrate on feeling what they need to feel and move through it.
Get them help
Being down or disappointed occasionally is part of life. After all, we can’t have ups if we don’t have downs. If the blues are lasting more than a few weeks without any sign of improvement, your partner could be more than just disappointed. Your partner could be depressed. That’s something you can’t fix yourself. But you can help them get the professional help they need. Gently bring up the idea of speaking to someone a time or two and offer to do the research of finding a provider who works with their insurance. After that, you’ve done all you can do. You can’t force someone to accept the help you’ve given them.
I’m going to get back to doing the healing I need to do and know that I’m sending you all and this entire country as much love and hope as I can possibly give.
