Let’s be honest, breakups are hard. Whether you were dating someone for just a few months, or were married for 20 years, there will always a period of mourning after a breakup. There are a lot of feelings to sort through, and no matter how hard you try it can be hard to get your ex out of our thoughts.
Most relationship experts will tell you that after a breakup it’s best to take some time to heal from your loss. They will tell you that you need to work through the hurt, create separation, and heal yourself before looking forward to the next relationship.
My take on the matter is a bit different…
I think that if you are a relationship person by nature, then why not get out there and start meeting new people right away to aid you in moving on from your last relationship?!
One of the biggest problem people dealing with heartbreak have is that they become obsessed with thinking about their breakup. They wonder if they did the right thing, if they should have tried harder, or made different choices along the way. It becomes remarkably easy to forget the reason that the relationship ended in the first place.
By taking time to be alone and “mourn” over your lost relationship, you create extra time for this obsessive “ex” thinking to occur. You know that saying, idle time is the devils playground? Well, this is exactly the same idea. The less you obsess the better off you will be!
So how do you move on?
I believe that there are two key elements involved in getting over a relationship.
First, DON’T contact or be in touch with you ex for at least 6 months. Go cold turkey or the pain will start all over again. If it wasn’t meant to be, MOVE ON! Breaking up is like quitting any addiction. It is hard at first and then becomes easier with time.
The sooner you start looking around to meet new people, the sooner you will learn that there may even be people with different qualities that are better for you in terms of a long term partnership.
Second, you should jump right back into the dating game. By doing so you will realize that your ex is not the only person out there for you. You will see that there are so many opportunities to meet wonderful and exciting people around every corner. The sooner you start looking around to meet new people, the sooner you will learn that there may even be people with different qualities that are better for you in terms of a long term partnership.
Don’t be scared. Trust yourself and the fact that you felt the need to end your last relationship, and jump into the next phase of your life!
