By now, I’m sure you’ve all seen the video of Solange Knowles attacking Jay Z in an elevator while Beyonce watches. I’ve heard a million different theories on what went on in that elevator. Everything from a drunken reaction to friends getting kicked out of a party to cheating allegations to Solange showing the couple some dance moves. (Pretty sure that last one is a joke.) But the truth is that no one, aside from those three and their bodyguard, is every really going to know what happened in that elevator. But, the whole ugly situation—and family violence is always ugly, I don’t care how many “hilarious” internet memes are flying around, I will never laugh at something this serious—got me thinking…what should you do when your family doesn’t get along with your man? Well, here are some tips.
Show them his best side
If you feel like your family isn’t warming up to your man, do your best to showcase his best features for them. If he’s a great teacher, have notes from grateful students pinned up on your walls when your family comes over. Or, if he’s a great guitar player, give them a CD of his music. Tell them about the fantastic stuff this fellow does for you and how happy he makes you feel. If they can’t see the good in him after you’ve done your best to show them, then that’s their bad. You tried!
Think about why they don’t like him
Why doesn’t your family like your guy? Is there a real reason there? Has he been nasty to you in the past? Is he honestly not a great person and you’re just blind to his bad qualities? Or is it something more basic like they don’t like his religion and you don’t care? Or they want you to be with someone who’s more financially stable, but you’re willing to be the breadwinner in your relationship? If the reasons they don’t like him don’t bother you at all, then go with your heart! But, if you know that they might have a point, then it could be time to reconsider your relationship.
Accept it
Not everyone has the same taste and every single person in your life doesn’t have to like every single decision you make. Of course, your life would be easier if your family dug your dude. But, life isn’t perfect. If you love your man and know that he’s the one for you, then you need to make the unpopular decision and be with him. And then you need to accept what that means. It might mean spending holidays separately, if you want to see your family. Or just not being able to talk about the most important person in your life with your family. It also could just mean a lot of awkwardness at your wedding. You just need to own the consequences of being with someone your family isn’t wild about. But, true love is worth it. So, also own that you’re making the right decision for you and your future family.
Good luck. Please comment below with any words of wisdom for women deals with families who don’t like their men!
