Break ups suck. There’s no other way around it. It doesn’t matter if you’re the dumper or the dumpee, there’s absolutely nothing pleasant about going through a break up. There are tears shed over losing an important relationship, the crappy things you said to each other and, probably the worst reason of all, the dread of having to start the process all over again with someone new. I absolutely hate that “begin again” feeling that creeps in as soon as a relationship is over. I’m very guilty of letting way too much time pass between relationships because it takes me a long time to recover for one relationship and prep myself to be a good girlfriend in the next. That’s not the case for everyone and certainly hasn’t been the case for many of my exes. In fact, a lot of my exes have moved on super quickly, which never fails to kick up an icky round of emotions in me. But, I’ve managed to deal with exes moving on quickly and I’m here to tell you how to handle it.
Don’t take it personally
Your ex moving on has nothing to do with you or your previous relationship with him. Just because he has a new lady in his life a few weeks after your devastating break up doesn’t mean that the split wasn’t hard for him or that your relationship was meaningless to him. Your ex dating a blonde when you’re brunette doesn’t mean that he’s rebounding with the polar opposite of you. Or just because he’s dating a lawyer and you happen to be a lawyer doesn’t mean that he’s trying to replace you. Nothing he does post-break up is about you at all. You guys are done, your relationship is done, and him doing things due to your influence is done. It sounds harsh, but it’s so true. I’ve learned it the hard way…a few times. So, trust me.
Disengage with your ex…completely
Your ex has someone new. Not the best news in the world. Also not the worst. But, this is going to be the last piece of news you get about him for a while. That’s right. I want you to stop the online stalking and asking friends for updates and casually driving by his place when you know he’ll be getting home from work. (We’ve all done it. No shame!) You really need to stop caring about what he does and who he does it with. I know that may seem impossible to you right now, but the less info you get about him, the easier it will be. It’ll take some self-control at first, but after a few days of not stalking him, it’ll be a lot less tempting.
Check in with yourself
Why is your ex moving on so quickly such a bummer to you? Is it because you’re not over him? You wish you were ready to move on? You have issues letting go? There’s always a reason for itchiness around an ex moving on. Instead of dwelling on how terrible this is, use it as an opportunity for self-improvement. Find where the problem is and address it. Then, you’ll be super emotionally healthy and ready for your next relationship when it happens. And it will! That perfect guy is just around the corner. Get ready for him!
Does anyone else have tips on how to deal when an ex moves on too quickly? Let me know in the comments!
