I swear, every time I pick up my phone recently, I’ve had a new breaking news alert about some sort of very public cheating scandal, like the Governor of Alabama’s infidelity and the leaked tape of Nick Young talking about cheating on Iggy Azalea. It’s really icky when infidelity is broadcast publicly, but with the way technology is today, it’s just how it works. This all begs the question, how do you deal when everyone knows your man cheated?
Find people you trust
When your favorite person in the world betrays you, you can feel totally unanchored. And when news of his indiscretion is everywhere you turn, you can feel suffocated. Unanchored and suffocated at the same time is an awful feeling. You need to find one or two confidants you can talk to during this situation. And a therapist wouldn’t hurt either. Look to your friends and family members who have no skin in the game and whose only goal is to help you, not add to the drama. And let those be the only people you discuss this issue with. Casual acquaintances and even good friends shouldn’t know every detail. Only a handful of folks in your inner circle and a paid professional should be in the loop.
Check in with your gut
When you’re in a crisis like this, it can be hard to know what to do or how to feel. You can’t trust yourself because your brain is going a mile a minute and your heart is so hurt, it’s incapable of guiding you. It’s times like these when your gut really comes into play. Take a few moments every day and check in with your gut. Deep down, what do you need to do? Stay with your man? Leave him? Take more time to figure this out? All or any of those options could work for you as long as you’re going with your gut. Don’t let public opinion or what you should want to do get in the way of what you know you need deep in your core.
Don’t add to the noise
The cheating is public knowledge. Everyone’s talking about it and depending on your man, even he could be talking about it in public. Do yourself a big favor and don’t go public with your opinion on the issue. It might feel good in the moment to trash your man or rip on people spreading rumors about you, but in the long run, that’s just going to make things worse for you. You want all of this drama to be over as quickly as possible. That way you can get on with your life. So, don’t add fuel to the fire. Don’t tweet about it. Don’t spread more gossip. When this situation is done and behind you, you’ll be glad you didn’t.
Sending my love your way. I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling having to deal with this, but know that you’re not alone and there is a bright future waiting for you at the other end of this! Good luck!
