Have you been with your man a while and feel like you’re drifting apart? That’s not uncommon. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s simply a sign that it’s time for the two of you to work on your relationship, which could turn out to be fabulous for both of you and your future together. If you feel like your boo and you have nada when it comes to overlapping interests, here’s what you have to do.
Focus on what’s there
First of all, I simply do not believe you two have nothing in common. There has to be something. You’re both human, right? Being in the same species doesn’t equal love, but it is something. Stop saying you have nothing in common and focus your energy on finding the things – no matter how few – you do have in common. Maybe you both get up early. You both laughed at the same joke. You both care about your careers a lot. These shared things don’t have to be huge. Think of the small things that you two already have going for you and dive into them by doing them more or talking about them more.
Get into his stuff
I’m not saying that you need to drop all of your personal interests to become immersed in his. You should stay true to yourself, but you should also put some energy into understanding what he likes. Share his passions with him. You don’t have to be as into them as he is. You don’t even have to like what he likes about them. I’ve dated sports obsessed guys and I’m not a hardcore sports girl. But, I like hot dogs and being outside, so we both liked going to games together, even though it was for completely different reasons. Find your joy in his joy and you’ll feel a lot more connected.
Let him in on your stuff
Similarly, invite him into your hobbies and interests. If you’re a reader, pick a book you think he’ll like and start a two person book club. Let him come to some girls nights. Show him an easy hiking trail you two can do together. You don’t need to force him into adopting all of your favorite things, but try to show him what’s great about them so he can enjoy them, too.
Start something new
Try to find a new thing you two can do together. Maybe it’s a dance class or a vacation. It could even be binging a show together. Make yourselves do new things as a couple. It’ll bond you two and help you grow together, instead of growing apart.
Every relationship goes through ebbs and flows. Feeling like you have nothing in common could just be one of your ebbs. Put the work in to address the issue and you should be flowing again soon!
