It’s a situation most women have nightmares about!
One night you’re feeling a little tired so you go up to bed before your man. He has some “work” to finish off, so you go upstairs and let him get on with it. Instead of turning your light out right away, you decide to read a few pages of that new book you downloaded. You get a little thirsty so you head back downstairs to grab some water. It’s when you’re about half way down your stairs that you see it…
The man you love is sitting in front of the computer, his headset on, penis in hand, and a naked woman gyrating on the monitor with a man between her legs. There’s no mistaking it. You stand for a couple of minutes just to prove you’re not seeing things. But no, your man is definitely pleasuring himself watching porn.
It’s about then he spins round in his chair, sees you standing there, and frantically grabs for the mouse to shut the screen off. It makes no difference. You saw what he was watching, and no amount of pleading, or telling you you’ve made a mistake can get him out of trouble. You busted him. After a confrontation, he finally admits he does watch porn. So what are you going to do? What should you do if your man is addicted to porn? Can you help him, or is it the beginning of the end of your relationship?
There are 3 steps to dealing with a man’s porn addiction, and the first step starts with you. Let’s have a look at them now…
Step 1: Don’t Take It Personally
Easier said than done I know, but just because he watched porn doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you, and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you anymore. He could be watching porn for a number of reasons, and one oddly enough could be a lack of sexual confidence. The thing to remember is not to fly off the handle. Sit down together and talk about the porn. Explain how it made you feel seeing him watching it, and discuss the reasons he feels he watches it so much. Does he feel there’s something you’re not giving him in bed? Maybe he has some secret fantasies he’s too embarrassed to share with you. Once you know why he’s watching porn you can start to help him ditch it.
Step 2: Get To Know Him Sexually
Something you need to know about men who are addicted to porn, is that they’re extremely visually stimulated. They like watching sex. They like to see the “action” unfolding in front of their eyes. I’ve spoken to a lot of guys who used be hooked on porn, and the majority said they were in relationships with women who didn’t like having sex with the light on, or who wouldn’t let their partner see them naked.
The visual element of sex wasn’t there for them, and they replaced it with the porn. You find a lot of men who watch porn also like listening to sex. They like to hear the woman’s moans and groans of pleasure. Maybe you’re the kind of woman that’s quiet when she’s having sex. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if he gets off hearing the “sounds of sex” it could also explain why he turns to porn while you’re not around.
Step 3: Become His Sexual Fantasy
I talk about this in detail in the video below this post, but one of the best ways to get your man unhooked from porn, is to become his own personal porn queen. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean you become his sex slave or start wearing rubber every time you have sex, but start to communicate with him in the bedroom, and find out what he likes. It’s all about opening up sexually with each other and finding out how to push each other’s buttons.
One thing many women get wrong in the bedroom is they think men don’t like you telling us what you like sexually. We LOVE it. It’s something I talk about in my program, “How To Tell A Man What You Want In Bed” but the more you tell us, the more you turn us on, and the more sexually into you we become. Although it sounds simplistic, this and some of the tips I share with you in the video below could easily get him away from the porn in a flash.
NOTE: If your man is showing serious signs of addiction then consider getting professional help!
