I’m a tabloid junkie. There. I said it. Now that it’s out in the open, we can move on. So many juicy stories in tabloids start with the phrase “a source close to the celeb says” and then fill in any salacious detail you want. It’s all been said and done and used in those smutty publications (which I adore! But still, totally smutty). I’ve been the subject of enough gossip stories to know that much of what they publish is garbage and completely unfounded, but every once in a while, it’s true. And a celeb will find out that someone they thought of as a trusted confidant is spilling their beans to whomever pays top dollar. It got me thinking about how sometimes nasty gossip comes from the folks you trust most. Here’s what to do about it.
Go to the source
If you hear that someone in your family or friend circle is talking about you or your loved ones in a way you don’t like, head straight to that person. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Just talk to him or her. You want to get the story completely straight before you jump to any conclusions. The gossip you heard about the gossip might not even be true. Or the person could have said the gossip without knowing how private you wanted to keep that information or once he or she puts it into context, it may not be as bad as you originally thought. Before you start to rage, check in with the source and give him or her the benefit of the doubt. After all, they’re probably close to you for a reason.
Reassess your inner circle
The second you tell someone a secret, it’s not a secret any more. It’s out there. So, you need to be very careful about who you share your private thoughts with. Figure out who you can trust. It may be far fewer people that you originally thought. And it could vary from topic to topic. Maybe you’re comfortable with a broad group knowing about your job search, but want to keep your relationship details to only your two best friends. That’s totally fine. Cull your inner circle to a chosen few and confide in them as appropriate. Make sure you’re letting them know just how exclusive you’re being so they understand how important your privacy is to you.
Decide what’s important
Take a step back and think about what’s really important. Obviously, feeling safe and protected within your community is a biggie. But, so is happiness. And happiness is hard to have when you’re boiling with rage. So, instead of being mad at the person who’s spreading hate about you, decide to move on and focus on the many people in your life who support you, love you and want to keep your private life private. Don’t waste too much energy on people who don’t value you. Spend it being grateful for what you do have. You’ll be a whole lot happier. I guarantee it.
Hope that’s helpful advice, my loves. I know that it’s easier said than done. I’ve been through this a time or two myself and I’m still working on the last point. But, I’m getting there. And I know you can, too!
