I’d like to have enough faith in my fellow ladies to say that most of us are not “mean girls”. However, we all definitely have our mean girl moments. A perfect example would be when a “b list” friend wears a horrible outfit out at the bar.. as soon as she walks away you and your girlfriends rant and rave with “what was she thinking?!” “that shirt is horrible” “you couldn’t pay me to wear that in public”. We’ve all done it.
When it comes to guys, the claws really come out. The worst case scenario being when your ex moves on. This girl instantly becomes enemy number 1. So what do you (and all of us) do? We start to pick apart EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING about her. “Her outfit is literally horrible’ “look at her body… does she even work out?” “I’m prettier than her, right?” are common phrases out of your mouth while sipping wine with your girlfriends. You pour through every single social media this girl has and continue to criticize. Any new flaw you discover she has makes you feel so much better. But.. does it?
Answer: no! It doesn’t make you feel any better at all. Which is why you stay on this path, expecting some kind of satisfaction. You convince yourself that you just haven’t put her down enough and once you reach that point you’ll move on. You just need to find one more thing about her that makes you the superior choice. But in reality, you never move past this. Because at the end of the day, even though that girl might wear queer tennis shoes with jeans to a bar, she still is dating a guy you used to love (or still do). The fact that your fashion sense, body, hair, or whatever is better than hers does not change the end result. You are not with him and she is.
Depressing? Not really. If you accept this and move on, it can actually be quite freeing. Further, it speaks volumes of our male counterparts. It proves that they really aren’t as superficial as we frequently assume. I’m sure these guys know full and well that if they were out with you, you’d have a better hairdo or a cuter outfit than this other girl. But they are CHOOSING to be with the less stylish or less hot girl because they see something in her. Its quite probable that this girl and your ex are just somehow a better fit. So inevitably, you will find your better fit too!
The good old standby of “what’s meant to be, will be” is great for this situation. Accepting the fact that you and your dude are not together is hard, and seeing him with another girl is next to impossible. However, reminding yourself that you didn’t work out for a reason and letting go of fixating on this other girl is really the best thing for YOU. Holding on to that resentment for him and her only keeps negativity within you, and you don’t win. So just do yourself a favor, and let go of this mean girl tendency. Its not healthy for you to move on to your pretty, busy, and happy new life without that loser that wasnt meant to work out!
To my sister Kristy who I love- please re-read this every day, on the hour, every hour.
