AskPatti

#AskPatti: Ring problems, age limits, gift ideas & more!

Author Thumbnail by Patti Stanger
Posted at 2:30 pm on November 27, 2013

Ask Patti Stanger

Hello, my little dumplings! (I’m trying “dumplings” out. Is it working? Should I make it my new thing?) I hope you all are deep into Thanksgiving prep mode. I sure am. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently about what I’m thankful for. This year has been really, really amazing for me, so I have a lot to be thankful for. And one of those many, many things is you all! I feel like I’ve connected so much with so many wonderful people this year, through Twitter and this column. And I’m really excited to keep it up. Also, I’m always looking for ways to improve. So, if you have any suggestions, just yell them out in the comments or shoot them to me on Twitter and I’ll do my best!

Now, onto this week’s #AskPatti questions!

First, let me ask you this, do you want to get married to this guy? If you do, you have to let him know. Talk to him. Explain what you want and figure out if he wants the same thing from this relationship. If he doesn’t right now, don’t put a time limit on the relationship. Just get out! If after seven years, he can’t make you feel comfortable and stable in a relationship that’s maturing and moving toward marriage, dump him and find a man who will!
Welcome to your thirties! No one ever says this, but they’re about four million times better than your twenties. You’re in for a real treat. As for age limits, no, you don’t necessarily have to put an age limit on your future dudes. What you need to do is put a life stage limit on them. For example, if you meet a 28 year old with a stable job, adult apartment and the good sense to be looking for a meaningful, monogamous relationship, who care that he’s a couple of years younger? But, if you meet a 35 year old who doesn’t have a steady job, lives with five roommates in an apartment covered in pizza boxes and isn’t looking to settle down, then who cares that he’s in your perfect age demo? He’s not in your right life stage. So, no, don’t put an age limit on guys. But, do start looking for mature men who are ready for relationships.

 

Your problem is that you’re going with clichés. If you go for something personal, you’ll never run out of ideas. Go back to that flea market you went to on one of your first dates and get her the ring she was looking at for so long. Buy her lessons to learn how to make her favorite French pastry. Snag her tickets to see that weird cover band she loves. Think about her specifically, and not women in general, and you’ll have no trouble thinking of something fabulous.
He’s a creep, that’s what it means. Sorry, sister. Get out now and find someone who isn’t embarrassed to share all of his life with you.

Happy Thanksgiving, dumplings! Talk next week.

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