Dear Emily,I’ve been on anti-depressants for years, and also have disabling period cramps, so my gynecologist has put me on a medication to stop my period entirely. I can function, and do not have to miss days of work now, but I have no sex drive. I feel awful that I can’t give my husband what I want to, but I also don’t want to be in pain or feel depressed. How can I have sex and not be in awful pain?
Thanks so much for any advice you have for me!
Taylor
Dear Taylor,
I’m sorry to hear about your double whammy diagnosis: depression and painful periods. anti-depressants can be bittersweet. You’ll function better on a day-to-day basis without experiencing debilitating depression yet one of the great pleasures in life sex (and orgasms) are a challenge or at worst, non existent.
Most anti-depressants are SSRI’s (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors) and can kill your sex drive. Wellbutrin is another popular anti-depressant that isn’t an SSRI, has less of the sexual side effects and even increases libido for some people. You should definitely talk to your doctor about trying it, and sometimes they can lower the dose of the SSRI, add in wellbutrin and the sexual side effects may subside. Your doctor might be able to adjust both your medications to find a formula that works for you.
It’s important that you communicate with your partner and try some things together that could get you in the mood. Practice taking the focus off sex for awhile while still enhancing intimacy with your husband. You can incorporate massage and sensual touch into your routine and train your body to relax enough to get into the right mindset for sex.
Finally, many women who suffer from low libido have been able spike their sex drive by using vibrators, watching porn together or reading erotica. Trying things that will stimulate your sex drive can help you get in the mood even if sex is the last thing on your mind.
It’s a lot like motivating for a workout. Putting on your socks and shoes can be the hardest part, but once your feet hit the pavement, you’ll be off and running.
xxx
Emily
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