Today, I’m going to tell you something that is either going to make you laugh, cry, or want to pass all of this information onto your friends because you know this is what you do on a regular basis.
Sherlock Holmes, as all of you remember, was a man.
Well, that was how it was originally written, and that’s how it was portrayed in the movie with Robert Downey Jr. But in reality, the real Sherlock Holmes is a woman.
Women love Sherlock Holmes because he’s one of you. Sherlock plays the same game women have been playing for centuries. Only now you have the Internet. The second you find out a man’s last name you will Google him.
1. The Worst
Face it, you can’t resist Googling him.
You think to yourself, “Could he be crazy? Did I meet Dexter Morgan? Is this guy a serial killer?”
So, you Google this guy and find his Facebook page. You start looking through his pictures. You tell yourself it’s just to make sure he’s not a crazy person.
You want to know how he conducts his life. You take a look at the quotes he’s posted, past relationship statuses. Soon enough you’re stalking his best friends, exes, even his mother.
It’s akin to an obsession. You need to know everything about this guy. I used to think this was so you could find something bad about him and have an excuse not to go on the date:
First you find something that you don’t like on Google, so what do you do next?
2. The Watson
Well, being Sherlock Holmes — you call your friend Watson
And you tell her, “Listen, Watson, Sherlock here, I found something on page six of Google that is disturbing me, should I still go out with him or should I confront him on it right away?”
You just can’t resist playing Sherlock Holmes and Watson with your best friend.
When you’re in a relationship, you’re always playing Sherlock Holmes. You’re constantly trying to figure out what a man says, what he means. You’re convinced how he said something means he was secretly trying to say something else.
If one Watson isn’t enough, you’ll gather a group of Watsons.
You’ll break down conversations that you had with a significant other and try to figure out, what does this mean on a deeper level.
Well, Sherlock Holmes, if you were a good detective as you thought you’d understand men: We mean what we say.
But you’re always trying to read between the lines that don’t exist because you love playing detective.
Then when things are going wrong in a relationship, what does Sherlock Holmes do?
3. The Sting
Well, the man leaves his laptop open one day. Of course you, making a cup of coffee, see the laptop there, you realize he went out with his friends, left the laptop open…
And you’re playing Sherlock Holmes again.
You look through his e-mails, you look at his web history. You try to figure out where he’s been, you try to figure out what is wrong in the relationship, and of course what happens is you’ll find some type of e-mail. It could be to a coworker. You’ll read it, and you’ll think to yourself, it looks like he’s flirting.
You’ll call Watson on the phone.
You might even forward Watson the e-mail. Together, you and Watson will go through the e-mail and try to figure out if your man is cheating on you or having an affair.
Now Sherlock goes deeper into…
4. The Interrogation
You read between the lines, because that’s what you do as a female and you’re a detective. You figure out this guy is flirting with this woman, when in reality, all he was doing was being nice.
Just like Sherlock Holmes does during interrogation your man comes home and you’re sitting there scheming on the couch for hours.
You’ve been pacing.
You come home and you tell him to sit down. You might also bring out the bright light to shine it in his face, because you’re about to become Sherlock Holmes again. You’ll start interrogating him and telling him exactly how you feel and you think he’s having an affair.
You can’t resist and in today’s modern society with Instagram and Twitter and everything else. It gives you the opportunity to play Sherlock Holmes on a regular basis.
It’s in your brain to snoop. It’s the way you are. And it’s not the way we’re wired.
The next time you play Sherlock Holmes, do it with a direct conversation. Instead of just snooping, ask him about something specific.
Have a direct conversation. Don’t snoop and look for things you may or may find or create inside your brain. More and more I’m finding women are becoming detectives because they’re worried something is wrong with them.
When you discover a guy isn’t crazy you suddenly worry if he’ll find you good enough.
“Oh no!” You think. “He’s one of the good ones and he’s going on a date with me. I’m going to screw this up.”
Stop worrying, and stop playing detective. It’s only going to drive you insane!
