Living in West Hollywood is amazing. On one block of Santa Monica Blvd. you can grab a drink at the best bars in Boystown. Just north on Sunset, you have some of the greatest restaurants and just down Robertson, you have some of the best shopping in town.
In my fantasy, Channing Tatum and I do all of the above except he pays for everything on his Amex Black Card.
A boy can dream.
This past weekend, my neighbors and I decided to grab a drink at The Abbey, the cornerstone of West Hollywood gay culture.
As we sat and absorbed a perfectly warm eighty-degree summer day, we began to chat about the inevitable…dating.
When you talk about dating to a gay man- one must be careful about what you ask, because what you hear may not be what you are expecting.
For example, if I ask, “what did you do last night” a gay man may say, “I think his name was Tom.”
So when we started down the road of discussing status updates on Facebook I must get specific.
So I say “Hey Nick, I heard you were online dating, how that going?”
And just like that…I get the look of death.
“Don’t ever ask me about online dating in public!” he said speaking in a lower voice as if to hush me even in volume as well as subject matter.
Naturally this is all amusing to me.
“Why so secretive?” I ask.
He went on and on with a list of reasons from not wanting to “jinx” his adventure to being embarrassed about being online.
Then without even a blink, he switches the subject (mood and volume as well) to a guy he’s been talking too on Grindr. (For my straight readers, Grindr is a hook up site similar to Blendr or Tinder)
“Look how hot he is, we might meet up later” he says with complete confidence.
Baffled and perplexed I sat there and finished the rest of my drink trying to understand this new form of ass backwardness.
When it comes to our efforts in love and happiness, why do we shy away from our diligence and find confidence in our short cuts?
It’s my opinion that dating online is just as respectable as meeting the man of your dreams in the bread aisle of the grocery store.
We live in a very different world today. It’s laced with social media and technology that have made our connecting with each other more sophisticated. One must try every avenue to seek the man of your dreams out.
Anyone who says online dating is embarrassing or weird is probably single and a hoarder.
But lets talk about the deeper issue here, Fear.
Our lack of ability to talk openly about online dating speaks strongly about our fear of possibly finding “the one”.
Its fear of losing the quick and easy hook up, its fear of finding someone who is actually interested more in than just sex — and maybe, just maybe, its fear of actually being happy.
If we all put just as much effort into creating a profile and answering a few questions as we do with driving to meet with a hook up, I think we would be happier people.
One of my favorite new “real” gay and lesbian dating sites is called One Good Love. This site is BS free and all about connecting people with genuine intentions for long-term relationships. The best part is that it was created for the LGBT community by a gay person — a key factor in its success.
If you need support, grab a good friend and a bottle of wine and have them help you fill out your profile. But remember, this is all about you. So make it honest and reflective of who you are.
So the next time you find yourself in a group huddle discussing your dating life, take a swig of that jumbo martini and proudly proclaim that you are having fun online dating!
I dare you.
Till Next Blog,
David (aka Cupid)
