Are you several dates or even a few weeks in and not sure if your new guy is something serious or just fun for now? Of course that’s where you are that early in a relationship. It’s totally normal. Well, I’ve just taken a whole new approach to the beginning stage uncertainties. Instead of waffling back and forth for who knows how long, I say take a vacation together. That’s right. Put the pedal to the metal and go on a couples’ vacation. Just the two of you. I know that seems crazy. Why would you rush into a huge milestone? Couldn’t pushing it like that ruin everything? What if it’s terrible and you’re trapped? All of those are very understandable concerns…and actually exactly why I think you should do it. Let me explain.
Why would you rush it?
Look, time is the only resource on the planet no one has enough of, so use yours wisely. Don’t look at it as rushing, look as it as extremely efficient time management. Get into it as quickly as you can so you can get out of it as quickly as you can, if you need to. What a gift to spend a few solid days with a guy to find out he’s not the one instead of weeks, months or even years! It’s so much easier to spot and respond to red flags early in a relationship before you’ve emotionally invested. Once you’re in deep, it’s easy to explain away bad behavior and compromise on things you shouldn’t. But, if you “rush” into a vacation with a new dude and find out gnarly stuff about his personality, you can abandon ship immediately. Barely any time or emotions wasted! And if you don’t need an escape hatch, then think of the positives. You’ve found yourself in a serious relationship with someone you enjoy lickety split! Doesn’t get better than that!
Could you ruin everything?
I’m a genuine romantic through and through. (Like I need to say that. I made love my job!) And I believe in true love. And true love is true. There’s no way to ruin it. If it’s meant to be, it will be and if it’s not, ruin it ASAP so you can get back to finding a true and lasting connection. So, if going on a trip right away ruins your relationship, then that relationship wasn’t supposed to last anyway. A trip like this is a real test, but why would you want to be in a relationship that wouldn’t pass this test anyway?
What if you’re trapped?
Spoiler alert: You will be trapped. You two will be in a hotel room together and have no one to talk to but each other…and that’s great! You’ll have to confront any issues that come up, sort out money stuff, deal with every day things like sharing a bathroom and figure out how much alone time versus together time each of you needs. Being forced to face those things early will help you find out if you’re actually compatible.
Hope I convinced you that a vacation early in a new relationship is the best thing you can do for yourself. Now you just need to convince that new guy to pack up and head out with you!
