It’s that horrible time of the year again. The time when the holiday lull is over, annual budgets have been made and staffing cuts come crashing down on unsuspecting employees. I know a lot of people, specifically the significant others of some of my best ladyfriends, who’ve lost their jobs recently. It’s not easy on anybody, especially the relationship as a whole. So, I thought I’d put together some tips on how to deal with this crappy situation to hopefully help you through it.
Just listen
Getting fired is humiliating and emotional. There are no two ways about that. Even if your man hated his job, getting laid off or fired is definitely not how he wanted that situation to end, I’m sure. So, your boo’s going to need to vent and figure out how he feels about the situation, especially in those first few days post-job loss. Do your best not to put in your two cents and instead just listen to him. Be there for him as a sounding board. That’s the best thing you can do. Any advice or thoughts you have, even seemingly innocuous ones like “Look on the bright side” or “Everything happens for a reason,” will be more annoying than they are helpful. Try to keep them to yourself and be a set of ears to your boo.
Give him time
As awful as it is, losing a job can be a real opportunity to figure out what someone really wants to do professionally and take stock of one’s life. But, these fringe benefits of job loss can only happen for your boo if he takes time to reflect and figure out what works for him. So, you’re going to have to give him the time he needs. Don’t expect him to start applying for new jobs the day after his lay off, or maybe not even the week or month after. It could take a while for your guy to cook up his plan for career happiness. So, you have to give it to him.
Make a plan
All of that being said, jobs bring in money. And not having a job can make things really tough financially. About a week or two after he loses his job, you two should probably talk about a financial plan, if you share any finances. Figure out how much time you have to live comfortably on one income and what he can do to contribute in the meantime to help make ends meet. Maybe it’s taking care of the kids, for example. Or maybe it’s working freelance. It could even be selling a car and having him drive you to your job every morning. Work together to create a short-term and long-term financial plan that will be comfortable to live with in the event he doesn’t get another job right away.
Gently nudge
At some point, you may need to urge your man down the right path. It’s important to remember that you can’t actually make anyone do anything, and that includes your boo. But, you can help him through the process. You might introduce him to a career counselor, send him job openings or even recommend a therapist if you think he could be getting a little depressed due to his unemployment. “Helping” someone deal with or fix their unemployment is sticky stuff. So, tread lightly!
Hope that helps you and your man through this icky situation. Things always do get better and I know they will for you two, too!
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