If you know me, you know that I’m anything but passive. I never pussyfoot around anything. Some people would (and have!) called it a flaw. But, I think of it as being honest and direct. I really can’t stand when people are anything but direct, but obviously there are tons of people out there who opt for being passive aggressive instead of just saying what they’re thinking. Because I have no tolerance for that kind of behavior, I thought I’d share some tips on how to stop your man from being passive aggressive.
Call him out
The first thing is to let him know when he’s being passive aggressive. He may not even know what it is. Some people grow up thinking that passive aggressive behavior is totally normal. They might even think it’s the right way! So, when you find him being passive aggressive, gently let him know your perspective on being passive aggressive. Something like, “Hey, babe. When you pout instead of letting me know what exactly is rubbing you the wrong way, it makes it difficult for me to feel like I’m being a good partner to you. It would be more helpful if you let me know exactly what was bugging you and we talked about it directly.” You don’t have to yell or be aggressive about it. Just be clear about what behavior is bothering you and how you wish he would handle it. You may have to do this a few times before it really sinks in.
Model good behavior
You have to be the one to show him how it’s done. So, be sure you’re not accidentally being passive aggressive about anything. Put in your best effort to be forward and direct. Speak to him about issues exactly how you’d want him to speak to you. Every incident is an opportunity to be a kind of role model for your man. If you show him the right way enough, he should be able to pick up on the mature way to handle confrontation and will hopefully start doing it himself.
Don’t overreact
Sometimes honest feedback isn’t fun. It never feels good to find out that the person you love most in this world thinks you’re less than perfect. But, you’re asking your man to tell you when you’re bothering him instead of beating around the bush. So, when he actually does it, you need to be sure you’re not punishing him. Don’t yell or get defensive. If you react like that, he’ll immediately go back to being passive aggressive. You’ll scare him! But, if you react in a mature way, you’ll be positively reinforcing his behavior and he’ll continue being direct. Total win!
A passive aggressive guy can easily be turned into a mature and forward dude with a little communication and work on your end, as long as he’s receptive. Anyone out there have stories on how being passive aggressive really hurt your relationship or how you successfully morphed your man into being direct? Let me know in the comments below!
