Dear Emily,
I recently started dating a new guy who is really great in bed. I’ve been in relationships where I felt like my pleasure wasn’t a priority, but this guy loves to make me feel good — and he does, frequently! Now I want to return the favor. The problem is, I’ve only got a few tricks up my sleeve and he has seen them all. So besides the usual hand jobs and blow jobs, what’s something I can do to really amp up the pleasure for my new beau? How can I wow him in the bedroom?
Sincerely,
Ari
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Dear Ari,
First off, some congratulations are in order! You found the ideal mate, a guy who gets off on getting you off and wants nothing more than to provide you with pleasure. And I love that you’re looking to reciprocate, not to mention expand your sexual repertoire.
Of course, blow jobs can be great way to say “thanks for the orgasms” — I like to think of them as “flowers for men.” But no matter how hot your go-to moves are, if you’re doing the same things in bed time after time, your sex life is bound to become a little stale. I really admire your desire to surprise your man with some sexy new tricks and I’ve got the perfect way to show your partner, every inch of him, how appreciative you are.
You can start by introducing him to some of his lesser known hot spots, the sensual areas that don’t often get the attention they deserve. These hotbeds for erotic activity (also known as erogenous zones) are located all across the human body and are surprisingly easy to pleasure.
From his head all the way to his toes, here are 5 pleasure-packed erogenous zones to turn your man on:
Head
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a scalp massage and felt those warm fuzzy tingles from head to toe? That’s because the skin on the top of your head is loaded with nerves that are extremely sensitive to the touch. Stimulating the scalp in the right way releases a flood of feel-good hormones like serotonin and oxytocin. It also increases blood flow, not just to his brain, but all over his body.
Next time you’re getting busy, open your fingers wide and run them slowly through his hair, stroking his scalp with your fingertips. Start behind his ears, at the base of the head, and circulate to the front, kind of like you’re lathering shampoo into your hair. Scalp massages are both soothing and sensual: They help release tension, and open his mind up for other stimulating activities.
Ears
Although ears are considered to be highly erotic, they are often overlooked, making them an even hotter spot to stimulate during sexy time.
Start by lightly tracing the C-shaped outline of your partner’s ear with your fingertips as you kiss, then let your mouth make its way over. Gently kiss his earlobe, or hold it lightly in your mouth and massage it with your lips. If he seems to be enjoying this, you can take it as a green light to start to nibble or suck on the lobe. Once you become more comfortable with the landscape, try combining all of these moves together, and every once and while, work your tongue into the center of his ear for a surprising but pleasurable sensation.
Lips
Lips are the most exposed of all erogenous zones, and are packed with a bunch of nerve endings (100 times more than our fingertips) located very close to the surface of the skin. Even the slightest touch to the lips releases floods of feel-good hormones to our brains that affect our emotions, as well as our nether regions. That’s why kissing is such an essential act for couples. It enhances intimacy and helps partners connected, plus it just feels good!
Kissing is a great to stimulate his lips, but don’t be afraid to add a little variety to the way you’re pleasuring them. Use your own lips, teeth and tongue to lick, nibble and caress his top and bottom lip, experimenting with different amounts of pressure. Every once and awhile, take a break from kissing to gently trace the outline of your partner’s lips with your thumb as you gaze into his eyes, before leaning back in for more.
Lower Back/Upper Tush
Whether it’s at the end of a long day, or just another Tuesday, no man can resist the power of a sensual back massage. The back is riddled with muscles and nerves that respond positively to touch, and often become sore from stress or strain. A deep tissue back rub will help to relax your partner, while also increasing blood flow to his pelvic region… Perfect for what comes next, right?
Start off by gently rubbing and caressing his back, focusing most of your attention on the sacrum. This triangular area at the base of his spine, between his hips, is rich with nerve endings, many of which connect straight to his genitals. Also try massaging the area right above his buttocks, using your thumbs to knead either side of (but not directly over) his spine. If you want to take this rubdown to the next level of hotness, bring in some luxurious massage oil, like the moisturizing oil from Emily & Tony aromatherapy massage candles.
Inner Thighs
As anyone on the receiving end of a tickle fight will tell you, the inner thighs are an extremely sensitive area. However, when stimulated the right way, they can also be an erotic gold mine — The skin there is especially skin, and is loaded with nerve endings right beneath the surface. This, combined with their proximity to the genitals, makes the inner thighs a major hot spot to hit on your way to foreplay, perfect for teasing and building anticipation.
Next time you go down on your partner, take a detour to this oh-so-sensitive area. Use gentle finger strokes and light licks to stimulate the skin there, as well as soft breaths against the slightly moist spots where your tongue has just been. As you are performing oral, use both hands to firmly massage his thighs. This will stimulate the blood-flow to his genital region, making everything your mouth is doing feel that much better.
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Have a question? Email me feedback@sexwithemily.com.
