I have two jobs.
My first is your standard nine-to-five-ish advertising gig in Midtown. I’m kept busy all day and sometimes into the night. I like what I do and it pays my bills.
My second job is my love life. I didn’t apply for the position and it doesn’t keep my lights on, but it takes just as much effort, planning, and preparation as any other work-related activity.
And did I mention the stress? Oh yes, the stress.
When the dating cycle begins, I work in HR at the world’s largest company, having been tasked with filling one single position. There are literally millions of candidates and I’m not even sure what the job entails or what the proper qualifications should be. Maybe I think I know, but are they anywhere near realistic? And am I 100% positive those are the prerequisites that should be required to apply in the first place?
My second job is my love life. I didn’t apply for the position and it doesn’t keep my lights on, but it takes just as much effort, planning, and preparation as any other work-related activity.
I’m overwhelmed already!! There are too many different applicants to choose from. It’s like going to Dishes for lunch when I’m not sure what I’m in the mood for yet and there are an infinite number of combinations that could fit into one box. Then I get back to my office after paying $12.35 for a mish-mosh of coconut chicken tenders, a sundried tomato frittata, topped with some sort of bean & soba noodle salad, and I don’t believe I’ve made any of the correct choices.
Why didn’t I just go with the rosemary chicken, steamed veggies, and rice pilaf? That would be equally delicious and healthy. Hindsight is always 20/20.
We’ve gotten off track here. And now I’m hungry.
In the next scenario, I might as well work in sales. The buyer and I have made contact and both agreed we should go on a sales call together. I mean we should go on a date together.
The most difficult part of a sales call is scheduling it – what date works best for both attendees, what time, what part of town? Should we do drinks, dinner, both? Perhaps an activity instead? Mini golf on Monday at Chelsea Piers sounds great… oh wait, I have an agency happy hour that evening, can you do Wednesday? Hmm… charity event on the Upper East Side, I can’t compete with that. Next week? Ok, no… how about 3 weeks from Thursday? Wonderful. I’ll pencil you in, just in case something comes up.
Update: the following screen shot is from a real Tinder conversation I had after writing this article. It was entirely coincidental and 100% true. I was working late on Friday in NYC, but in LA’s time zone:
If we’re lucky, a date happens. In the best circumstance, said date surpasses mediocrity and leads to a follow-up/second date.
To do that, I’m going to have to get a feel for the room. Did my pitch resonate with the potential client? My product is me and I’m fairly confident it’s a good value for the price, but did I communicate that efficiently, and will there be a deal signed by EOD? Assets are due in three days, so we’re going to need a commitment now. Or at least via a “I had a great time last night ;)” text, on my desk by 11am tomorrow.
