If you clicked into this post, you’re in trouble, honey. Maybe your man and you are in a fight. Or maybe he’s sulking and you don’t know why. Maybe he’s just trying to get your attention. Maybe he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. Whatever the reason, your boyfriend is ignoring you and you’re not happy about it. (Which you shouldn’t be! Being ignored in a really crappy feeling!) Here’s exactly what to do when your boyfriend ignores you.
Break The Silence
When you’re playing the silent game, there are no winners. Just losers! And the longer you play, the bigger the losers get. So, end the game ASAP. Be sure that you’re not explosively angry when you talk to him, though. (Which is an understandable reaction to receiving the silent treatment from someone you love. But still, not a helpful way to act right now.) Calmly ask if you two can speak. Hopefully, he’ll agree. Here’s what you should say next.
Ask Him Why
Even if you know why he’s giving you the silent treatment, you need to figure out why he’s really doing it. So, you accidentally deleted his fantasy football draft and now the only football players on his team are benchwarmers? Yeah, that’s annoying and upsetting (to someone who cares about sports, I guess?). But, it’s not a reason to give you the silent treatment. Ask him specifically what he thought he was accomplishing by giving you the silent treatment that couldn’t be achieved with clear communication. (That’s a trick question! There’s absolutely nothing that’s better resolved by silence than communication. So, you’re asking him this just to prove a point.)
Explain How It Makes You Feel And What You Want To Happen
Tell him what you feel when you’re being ignored by the person you love. Again, stay calm here. It’s really easy to get angry and name-call-y when you’re talking to someone about making you feel crappy. Keep it together, though. Be brief, but descriptive about what you feel and then really focus your energy on explaining how you wished he handled it. Be clear about how communication would have been a quicker, more painless solution to this issue.
Let Him Know What Will Happen If It Happens Again
Personally, I think the silent treatment is unacceptable. Someone who handles conflict with stony silence instead of solution-focused communication isn’t someone I can partner with. So, I’d tell my guy that if he pulls this stunt again, I’m out. Like, peace the eff out! Maybe you’re less black and white than I am, so your consequences could be different. It could be couples counseling, for example. No matter what your promised reaction is to the silent treatment, know that you have to follow through if it ever rears its ugly head again. So, don’t be dramatic here. Be realistic for your relationship and your personality.
Communication is king in the world of relationships, so don’t ever let silence be how you resolve conflict in your relationship. You deserve better!
