First dates are fun, exciting, emotional and probably most of all, confusing. With all of the primping and prepping and recapping and judging and drinking and obsessing, it’s hard to actually find a kernel of truth on a date. There’s just so much pomp and circumstance that digging deep and figuring out if there’s a real connection takes some serious know how. I can’t even claim to be a total expert on this. Every date is different, with its own weird clues and misdirects. But, I do have a lot of experience, of my own and with clients, and this is the checklist I like to review after a first date to see if a man has boyfriend potential.
Did you feel respected?
This is probably the biggest of all of the pieces on this checklist. Deep down, did you feel like he respected you for the woman that you are or did you feel like you were one in a line of women he’s going to date? Or that he was just there for your looks? Or just interested in getting physical? Men who are ready for and worthy of a girlfriend are looking for a woman who is a total package. On your first date with a future boyfriend, you should feel like a total package to him. He should be interested in you beyond the surface stuff and impressed by you as a person. I’m not saying that he’s going to come out and say these things as he kisses you goodnight, but you should get a vibe from him that makes you feel like you were fully appreciated in the few hours you were together.
Did you laugh?
I know that dating is stressful and nerve-wracking, but your first date with the right guy should be fun, too. You should be able to move past the awkwardness and actually enjoy yourself and enjoy his company too. I think laughter is one of the most important parts of any relationship, right behind open communication. If it’s not there from date one, it’s just not going to happen.
Did he set up a next date?
A real man knows that he needs to set up the next date at the end of a first date. If he doesn’t do it, it means he’s not a hunter. And I don’t care what kind of woman you are, you need a hunter man. Gatherer men just aren’t worth dating. Don’t waste your time.
Was there a kiss?
This isn’t a make or break moment, but it does help if there was a kiss because a first kiss can be really telling. One lip lock can say volumes about your potential chemistry. If you don’t feel a spark with that first kiss, no need for a second date. You don’t want to wind up with a boyfriend you don’t like kissing.
Did you get the icks?
You know what I’m talking about. The icks! That feeling you get when you’re standing next to someone who just rubs you the wrong way. Even the cutest, smartest, most accomplished, seemingly perfect men can give you the icks. It doesn’t mean anything wrong with them. It just means that you two would be wrong together. So, don’t ignore that feeling!
Good luck dating out there, ladies. Trust your gut and don’t waste time on second dates if he didn’t have any boyfriend potential on the first date.
