Anyone else out there as obsessed with Orange is the New Black as I am? I swear if David didn’t pull me away from my Netflix and force me to live a normal human life, I’d have watched all 13 episodes in one sitting without showering, eating or even bathroom breaks. It’s so effing good! I don’t want to give anything away, even anything from season 1, but I will say that Piper and Larry’s relationship is so interesting. For anyone who’s living under a rock, the show is about Piper Chapman, who gets sent to a women’s prison for a decade old crime, leaving her fiancé out in the free world. Needless to say, this complicates their relationship. It got me thinking about couples where it feels like each partner is on a different planet. This separate world feeling doesn’t have to come from something as extreme as a prison sentence. It can happen when one person stays at home and the other works or when you’re in a long distance relationship or even when one person is extremely into a hobby (sports, video games or, um, Netflix!) and the other person is really not. Here’s how to bridge a gap between two worlds.
Share the highlights
Depending on what’s separating your honey and you, you can’t always let them in on what’s keeping you separate. But, if you can, go for it. For example, if you’re working crazy hours and missing date nights, let your partner know what exactly you’re working on, what you got done and what still needs doing. Work is probably that last thing you want to talk about, but sharing some highlights will make your partner feel closer to you when you’re trapped at work. If you’re long distance, same thing. Give your partner a video tour of your new neighborhood or send them a care package filled with special local treats from where you are. It’s even the same with being very into a TV show that your dude doesn’t like. Keep him posted on the big emotional arcs of the episode. He may not want to watch The Bachelorette with you, but he does want to know what you’re investing your emotions in.
Don’t shame the other person
I know life would be a million times easier if the person you loved loved all the things you love and did exactly what you did. But, that’s not possible. Your differences are what keep the relationship interesting. So, don’t poke fun of the person just because they like sports and you think it’s a major waste of time. Or if your honey stays at home and you go out and party, don’t shame him for being a homebody. You fell in love with your guy because of who he is. Just because it’s a little inconvenient or makes you have to work a bit harder to connect, don’t turn it into something you mock him for.
Create something you two can share
Instead of focusing on what’s different or between you two, try to find a new way to connect. Maybe it’s watching a show together on the phone if you’re long distance. Or working out together in the mornings before work if one of you never makes it home for dinner. Or taking dance lessons if your entertainment tastes will never line up. Make sure that you two do have something to share even when you’re worlds apart in other ways.
Opposites may attract initially, but for a long-term relationship to work, you need to be on the same page. How do you connect with your partner when you feel removed from him?
