The simple truth is that, in most cases, it takes women longer to orgasm than men. I get asked all the time, ‘Why is it easier for men to orgasm than women?’
Women also ask for ways to make their man last longer during sex because they aren’t getting their chance at orgasm, and sometimes it’s men asking what they can do to prolong their moment of orgasm. The bottom line is that it takes men an average of five to six minutes to reach orgasm, while it takes women an average of 15 to 20 minutes. That’s what is called the ‘Orgasm Gap,’ and it’s an issue that almost all couples have to deal with at some point in their sex lives.
Luckily, techniques exist to help overcome the Orgasm Gap. Here are five of my personal favorites:
1. Foreplay Before The Foreplay
We all know that women like a little foreplay to turn them on, but how about kicking off the foreplay before you’re even touching? I love the idea of getting the sexual chemistry going early, so that by the time you’re having sex, it’s already been on your minds for so long that you’re both so turned on you’re ready to burst from excitement. A friend once told me how she and her boyfriend were having dinner in a fancy restaurant and he dared her to take off her panties and put them in her purse — without leaving the table. She was so hot by the time they got home, he could barely keep up with her!
2. Communication Is A Lubrication
Anyone who listens to my podcast knows that I’m all about communication during sex. If your guy is reaching orgasm too fast, the worst thing you can do is get frustrated and turn away from him. While there are biological contributors to premature ejaculation, there are lots of psychological factors as well. Make sure your guy knows that you’re on his side and this is something you want to work on with him. Just being able to trust each other and talk about what’s going on may be all you need.
3. A Little Help
Science has come a long way! There’s this great over-the-counter spray called Promescent that helps men prolong their sexual activity. It’s a mild delay spray that helps him control the timing of his orgasm, but doesn’t take away any of the pleasure of sex. I recently tried this with a guy I was dating. He didn’t have an issue with PE (premature ejaculation), but why not go longer? It was great for both of us. He could relax and have fun instead of just worrying about coming too soon.
4. It Takes Two
If the two of you can’t get your timing right, take time to work on it together. Do some exploratory “research” by trying different techniques to see what might work better. Do you need to slow sex down? Should you switch up your positions? If you’re invested in making things better, take some time to explore your options. Even the excitement of doing something new might change up your rhythm enough to slow things down and take it to another level.
5. There’s Something About Mary: Masturbate Before Your Date
Who hasn’t seen that scene in the movie with Cameron Diaz? Ben Stiller masturbates before their date and shows up with some goo in his hair that she thinks is gel. In certain cases, masturbating before a date is a great way to warm-up before sex. I call it pre-gaming. I tell guys all the time that if they’re nervous before a date, it’s a great option to help them relax and take the edge off. Just make sure you clean up the evidence before you pick up your date!
I hope these are helpful tips. If you have any more, I’d love to hear them.
xxx,
Emily
Want more Sex With Emily? Check out my podcasts for free on iTunes, my book Hot Sex and my iPhone apps Kegel Camp and Sex Drive. Check out my new intimate care line Emily & Tony for massage candles that turn into luxurious massage oil and DownUnder comfort to stay fresh and dry down there. Use Coupon Code SEXWITHEMILY or 20% off. Also, use coupon code EMILY for 15% off at Good Vibrations. These are my favorite sex toys and vibrators from Good Vibes: Sex Toy Recommendations (some restrictions apply). Never tried the #1 Male sex toy. Get a Fleshlight Here
