Let’s be honest, singles are not the only ones that have relationship questions and concerns. Relationships, no matter the length, take consistent work and attention. This is especially true during the holidays.
So far this month I have covered how to take advantage of the seasons festivities and be your own matchmaker, and have answered questions about dating someone new. It is only fair that I now turn my attention to answering a question from the often neglected couple.
The most popular holiday question that married couples ask me is:
“We have no idea what to get each other any more… is it wrong for us to just get the kids gifts?”
My answer applies to couples whether there are children in the mix or not. Being in a relationship is a full time job. If you don’t put in the work, then your relationship will suffer as a consequence. Which means… don’t skip out on a gift! The best gift you could possibly give your spouse is to spend quality time together.
Take advantage of this opportunity and give each other the gift of a night out like when you were first dating. Ladies, shave your legs and get all dolled up. Gents, break out your best duds and some chivalry while you’re at it. Let this be a chance to go back in time and reminisce about when you first met. Remind each other (and yourself) of all the things you love about your spouse. Do something that you used to do together before you were married, or try something brand new. Spice it up! A night out like this is a gift that will last a lifetime.
In terms of gifts for kids, I would argue that working on strengthening and reconnecting in your relationship is the best thing you can do for your kids. If the parents are happy, the kids will be happy. Time together as a couple is not time taken from the kids, it is time put in for the building blocks of the family. By watching a relationship that is strong and committed your children will become hardwired to look for their own healthy connections and relationships. Of course you should get your children presents that is in your budget and plan, but do NOT forget to take care of yourself and your relationship as well.
Tie this into your New Years resolution!
Resolve to keep the romance alive throughout the year. For example, your resolution could be to tell your spouse something you love about them every week, or make the commitment to having a date night once a month (ideally once a week if possible). Pick something that you can manage and that will keep you connected all year long. You shouldn’t have to wait around until the next birthday or Valentine’s Day to give each other the gift of connection!
Interested in becoming a matchmaker or finding one in your area? Visit Matchmaking Institute for details.
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