Patti's Blog

6 ways to detox from dating

I love love and I want everyone to have it, but that doesn’t mean that you should be chasing it 24/7. No way! Taking a break from the dating scene is sometimes the best thing you can do for your romantic life. There are so many reasons why a dating detox could make sense for you.

… you need a rest from the terrible first-date merry-go-round. Hello, that sentence basically describes my 20s! Looking back, I wish I took more dating detoxes instead of jumping headlong into bad date after bad date. It got exhausting and frustrating.

… you need a break after a serious relationship ends. I sure did after my big breakup! I went months before I was ready to date, and I’m so glad I did. I used that time to heal, get to know myself better and realign my priorities.

… you’re just too busy for love. I’ve been there too. Dating the right way takes a lot of time and effort. If you don’t have the hours or the energy to spend right now, wait until you do. You’ll be more successful when the time is right — love comes when you’re ready for it.

No matter your reasons for a dating detox, here are a few easy ways to get out of the dating scene. Mr. Right will be waiting for you when you’re ready to step back in.

1. Get off the internet

I’m a huge proponent of online dating. I have my own site, PSXOXO, and I met my honey on PlentyOfFish. Lovely things happen online but only if the time is right. If you’re detoxing, get off the dating sites. Delete your accounts and uncheck those bookmarks. Take the time to really detox and don’t leave any windows open for you to slip up and starting chatting with men. You’re detoxing for a reason. Make it easy for yourself to stick with your plan 100 percent.

2. Ladies’ night/week/month — whatever it takes!

When you’re detoxing, spend the energy you would have spent dating on making your relationships with your girlfriends even stronger. Plan special nights, go on girls-only trips and show the most important women in your life how much you care. The extra love you show your girls is going to instantly boost your relationships, and after some less than awesome dating experiences, it will be super rewarding to get back exactly what you put into a relationship.

3. Spend time alone

Remember how awesome you are? I can’t hear you. I said remember how awesome you are? That’s a little better. The truth is that you probably don’t know how fantastic you really are. After a slew of tough first dates or a really crappy break up, I know that I would start to feel the icks about myself. As soon as that feeling kicks in, I’d kick it to the curb by spending time alone and getting back in touch with my inner goddess. You have an inner goddess, and you need to find her and believe in her before you can find a man who will treat you like a goddess.

4. Hang with guys

A dating detox does not mean a man detox. Just like it’s important to have strong relationships with women in your life, it’s important to have non-romantic relationships with men. Spend time with your bestie and her husband or have a working lunch with that new man in the office. Train your brain to not react to every guy with a pecker as a possible boyfriend. Plus, it’ll be refreshing to be around male energy without any expectations or nerves.

5. Family time

You’re going to have a lot of free time on your hands when you stop going on dates, thinking about dates, planning dates and primping for dates. Spend that time with your family, the people who know you best. It could mean spending more time with your kids, talking to your parents more, or making a trip to go out and see your niece and nephew. Believe me, no one’s ever looked back on their life and said they wished they had spent more time on bad dates and less time with their family. Think about it.

6. Learn how to do something you always wanted to

Have you always wanted to learn guitar? Run a marathon? Write a short story? Then go for it, girl! You can totally do it. The best thing you can do is take lessons or join a group to go after this passion. You’ll meet interesting people and expand your social circle. When detox time is over, you’ll have a new pool of like-minded cuties to pick from. Bonus!

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