Let me guess. You’ve met a great guy who has it all going on. A good job, great biceps, a smile that makes you melt. And just when it seems like everything’s going perfectly, he invites you to come with his group of buddies to watch a game. After an afternoon of uncountable dude burps, horrendous sex conquest stories and feeling like there’s not enough vodka in the whole while world to make the day tolerable, nothing about your relationship feels quite as perfect. Don’t worry, girl. This is common! Meeting a guy’s friends can be more revealing than meeting his parents. (After all, he didn’t pick his parents, but he did pick his friends.) And what it reveals might not be all that pretty. But, the question is…should it change your future with this guy? Well, here are five things you can do when you hate your boyfriend’s friends to help you decide what to do about your relationship.
Find Out If It’s Really All Of Them
Ok, so you’ve met one group of his buddies and they’re not your favorite people on earth. That’s fine. A lot of times, we make friends years and years ago who don’t really reflect who we are today. Try meeting some of his more recent additions to his friend circle. My bet is that they’re more mature and probably more in line with the type of people you want to hang out with. If that’s not the case and you hate literally every, single one of his friends, then you could have an issue on your hands.
Decide If It Impacts Your Relationship
What do these friendships with people you’re not crazy about mean for your relationship? Is your man a different person around his a-hole buddies? My friend once dated this super awesome guy who turned into a raging misogynist the second he was with his friends. They would say the most heinous things about women. Even though my friend loved her solo time with the guy, she had to break up with him because she was so grossed out by his behavior with his friends. Also, think about if his decision to be friends with these people raises any red flags. For example, if they’re just annoying people that he isn’t annoyed by, then I don’t think there’s anything to be seriously concerned with. But, if his friends are actually bad people and he’s decided to be a supportive friend to them, that could mean he’s bad at making decisions. And that is a red flag in a major way.
Focus On The Positives
If you’ve decided that your dude’s friends are just duds and not terrible humans, then it’s time to start being Susie Sunshine. I know it’s tempting to keep track of every irksome thing his stupid friends do and talk about it with all of your (super awesome, not annoying) friends. But, stop yourself. The more you dwell on how bad his friends are, the worse they’ll seem to you. Focus on the good things about them. Maybe one of them always had good sweaters. Or one of their girlfriends could be great. Or maybe it’s even just that they’re really nice to your boyfriend. Just focus on those and you’ll start to feel way better about the friends eventually.
Get Busy Yourself
So, hanging with his friends isn’t going to be one of your main couple activities. That’s not ideal, but it’s fine. What you need to do is get busy with your own stuff and minimize your time with his friends. As long as you’re wrapped up in fun stuff, you won’t feel bad saying no to group hang out sessions with his buddies.
Take The Reigns
You can’t avoid his friends forever. When you do have to hang out with them, be the one who does the planning. Think about what might make the hanging out better for you and do that. For example, going to see a movie could be a good plan because it minimizes talking time. Or invite them over to your house for dinner, because then you’re in charge and can decide when the night ends.
Good luck out there, girl. Know that you’re in good company. Some of the best women in the world have dudes with total duds as friends.
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