Attention all single mothers!
This post is for you.
Your life is not as grim as you thought it was.
You can be with the type of man that you need to date. The type of man who get’s not just you, but your kids. Here are 4 ways to make sure it happens.
1. Avoid Men Without Kids
Men without kids can be great, because their schedules are more open. You don’t have to worry about whether you’ll get along with his kids. Whether his kids will get a long with your kids.
But it can be tougher because a lot of them feel like they need to be a father immediately to your kids — even though we know that’s not true.
They don’t understand that they’re just dating you. Your kids will make up their minds about whether or not they want a relationship with this man or not. He is not the parent and chances are he never will be,
2. Use Your Kids
How much time do you spend with your kids? Chances are most of your day is dedicated to getting the kids ready, getting the kids to school, to their after school programs. Making sure they eat, cleaning their clothes…the list is endless.
Many of you tell me there’s no time for dating. I hear, “No man wants to date a woman over thirty and with kids.” And, “I don’t have time to meet men.”
But there’s another opportunity many of you seem to be avoiding.
There are so many kids out there with single dads, great single dads. In my friendship circle, I know five really cool single dads, and my friendship circle is no different than anybody else’s.
You can meet a single dad and you don’t even need to even waste your time on a date.
If your kids are the same age you can set up a play date. You can have a normal conversation and get to know each other without the interview process that takes place on the majority of dates.
3. Take it Slow
Get to know each other on a friendship level first to see if you are compatible. View this as an advantage. Singles without kids don’t have the opportunity to meet in such a casual way.
They’re forced to go out on dates talking to one another, in the traditional way. All you need to do is have your kids play and talk to each other.
The conversation is much easier.
How many open house school tours have you been on where there have been single dads?
It’s easy to talk to them about your kids.
4. Get to Know Them as a Parent
This is vital. Part of the reason why you’re not with somebody anymore is probably because your parenting styles are different.
What you want in relationships may be different too, so it’s good to get to know them in a non-threatening way. You get to know the real person before you have to go out on a pressure filled date.
You don’t need to impress one another. You both realize how precious time is because you have so little of it. The conversations are interesting because you’ve already got something in common.
Inquire about the child’s other parent. What is their relationship like? Did it end well?
You’ll get a sense of what it’s like to be in a relationship with this person. You’ll understand the kind of baggage they’ve got.
Remember we’ve all got baggage so don’t judge him. But be aware of the kind of baggage you’re willing to take on.
Get a sense of who he is as a parent and who he was as a spouse and you’ll know if you want to take things to the next step.
See, all is not lost when you are a single parent.
Another parent will expose their real self to you quickly. They don’t have time to fool around and neither do you. They’ve been around the block and know what they’re looking for.
You can meet your single dads at playgrounds, birthday parties, school events, almost anywhere. It’s a great open opportunity to connect on a deeper level with somebody.
So if you’re a single mom, I suggest you take some of these suggestions. You’ll have a much better outlook. And if you want to know how to really connect with a man on such a deep emotional level he won’t be able to help but fall in love with you, then I want you to take a look at this!
